Second Half Start

So the second half of the semester has begun and I think that there might be a light at the end of the tunnel that I can kind of see if I squint really hard. Quals got done and turned in on Friday now I am just second guessing my knowledge and how I did on them, stupid office talk makes me question myself. Oh well, I did what I could at the time. I am completely stressed out about my methods class but know that I will get it done and it will be okay, I just have to keep at it.

KristinFriend is coming down tomorrow so the super clean is on. CharChar doesn't care much about my mess but I think that Kristin will. It looks like the library exploded on my kitchen table and in my guest room so I need to get that cleaned up. I just scrubbed my kitchen and did all of my dishes and now it is on to the bathroom then the other rooms, hopefully will get to the vacuuming tonight at well.

Speech retreat this weekend and I am excited. There is a surprise for the kids and I know that they will laugh and love it. More details after retreat since I don't know who all reads this anymore and I don't want to ruin the surprise.

Sickness is going around I am trying my hardest not to get it. So far, so good.

Talked to H.C. on the phone today. Okay so I called H.C. and talked to Margo. The old boss is doing well. I will hopefully make it back for grad. to catch up with her. She is fabulous! Also talked to Judy. I miss her. But she said that she will be a reference for me on my internship endeavors so that is good news.

Coaching today was FABULOUS! Just amazing work being done.

Okay, enough of a break, I need to get back to the cleaning game.

Early Morning Excitement

So yesterday I got question 2 done, as you can read from my last blog post. And then started work on question 1. Well I got tired and thought I would go to sleep. Well then I couldn't sleep and I got up and started reading some research for question 3. Finally at around 430am I finally went to bed. Well at like 530 I woke up to this god awful loud noise and I was so tired I couldn't figure out what it was. Like I turned my t.v. on and off like six times, turned off my alarm clock, etc. than I noticed that the sound was not coming from inside my apartment it was actually coming from the hall way and when I got near the door I could smell smoke really bad. So I threw on some clothes, shoes and parka and headed out with the rest of the building into the morning blizzard. Where I stood outside for at least an hour and all I was thinking was, what about Jezibell and fuck, my laptop is on my kitchen table, I hope that the sprinklers don't trun on and ruin my laptop and my quals work... finally I was let back inside and there was no damage to my apartment but it still smells like smoke really bad and I was pretty shaken up about it.

Happy day to me.

Qualifying Exam Procrastination

So this is how I procrastinate. I post pictures on my blog and I take showers. Whenever I have to work really long and hard on something I find myself showering like 4 times a day. Like when I am feeling a little unmotivated to finish, I take a shower. It is like I just woke up and it gets me started for at least the next 4 hours.

I am done with question 2. I think that it is pretty damn good. Now it is just question 1 and 3 that I have to deal with. Goal is to still have them done to turn by Friday when Kathy leaves. I can do, I just need to push on.

I have consumed so much coffee and Dr. Pepper today it is scary to think about. I don't want to think about it. But I am drinking a Dr. Pepper so it is hard not to. At my computer I am surrounded by 4 empty Dr. Pepper cans, 2 coffee cups, 4 empty packs, and 4 beer bottles (those are not from this round of studying). I think that I have a problem. I big problem. A caffeinated beverage problem. And I don't know what to do about it. The funny thing is that I am not even working at this computer, I am working on my laptop and that is at the kitchen table....hmmm.... Why is this room such a mess?? I don't know. Probably cause this is where I take my breaks. Internet is much easier to quit than t.v. so I don't let myself in my room or the living room where the t.v. is tempting.

Anyways, back at it. Question 1, you're mine....moowaahahahaha.

I wear my sunglasses at night....

This is how my birthday party evening ended. Yes, I did sing the song almost the whole way home...when I wasn't making obnoxious phone calls.

Peeps in attendance at my party...

Kathleen
Hillary and Jessica
Nadene and Lynn
Char and Anna
James and Kelly

Birthday Party Pics

Birthday Flowers.. they're pretty.
Birthday Teaching Outfit

Birthday Holly... I think that I am not sober in this picture.

Spring Break and Snow Storms...

Spring Break officially started on Friday and this NorthernPrincess could not be more excited. Granted spring break will not be spent lounging around just chillin' out but rather taking qualifying exams but still the thought of a week without school and only one thing to keep her busy makes the NorthernPrincess leap for joy.

It has been a long two weeks since the Princess has posted. Unfortunately, not much can be remembered about it, it was that busy. Lots of work on methods projects, lots of grading, lit. reviews, indepth interviews, and stress about quals and life has taken up most of this princess' time.

fortunately this NorthernPrincess did get to take a four day " I don't give a crap about school right now" break. Time was spent with loved ones for birthdays, dinner with good friends, getting to know new people, seeing my old team and BestFrienda in Wisconsin, getting snowed in in the cities because of 10 inches of snow, lazy snow day watching t.v. and reading for fun. I know it is unheard of as a student. It was a wonderful weekend but unfortunately the snow days kept the NorthernPrincess from getting started on Quals and so it will probably take the rest of the week out of commission for fun, but we will so how quickly the NorthernPrincess can get quality work done to allow for a little play time before school starts again on Monday.

So this NorthernPrincess it trying to keep positive and trying not to get stressed out about this Qual business. It will get done, it will be good, and I will be okay.

Love to all.

Another year older and a start to a new week...

So I am 23 now. I wish that I could say that I feel different, but I don't probably because instead of feeling sorry for myself because I am getting old, I went out and partied like a rock star. ( I have pictures, I just don't have time to get them posted right now.) The birthday party was good. People actually came out for it that was shocking, maybe I do have friends here...Or people just like an excuse to party, either way it was a good time. The night ended with me singing, "I wear my sunglasses at night..." Making a pizza and passing out with the hiccups. Very entertaining to Char and Anna who were staying with me.

I woke up on Friday with a headache and wondering where everyone was. I guess they all left me in my sleep, oh well. My birthday was spent stuffing folders for the High School tournament, then to Baker's Square for dinner and pie, then to an Ice Cream tasting party complete with birthday brownines (it was wonderful) then home to bed so that I could get up early for the tournament on Saturday.

The tournament went well. No problems, I am not a big fan of high school coaches though, they are all really really bitchy and mean. Saturday night I went up to the cities to chill with KristinFriend and to work on homework.

Sunday was homework and shopping and a Sunday night karaoke party with the OG crew, good times were had and much much Photo Hunt was played. Monday started with a headache and a late start which made me late for school and made me stress out a little bit, but the day ended fairly well with and extension on the two papers due next week and getting all of my homework and grading done before 1am.

Now it is off to bed so that I can wake up early to go and buy some hairspray (mine was left in Maplewood), to buy straight noodles and marshmallows (for class tomorrow night), and to actually make it to my office hours in time for the first time all semester thus far.

So it has been a busy yet interestingly fun last few days. and only one more until my school week is over.

This weekend up to Fargo for the VFL hope to see some of you there.

Love to all--NorthernPrincess

The week is over...kinda...

So today was my last official day that I have responsibilities at school. However, I have to go in tomorrow and teach Danielle's class because she has a conference thing, and since we are hosting a H.S. tournament this weekend I have to help out with all of that stuff. Even though Danielle, Jessica, Nicole and I worked on it for over 4 hours today...ugh. Oh well, it was a good time.

My birthday party is tomorrow night. I am pretty excited about it. It sounds like people actually want come....crazy huh. I will be having house guests so I need to seriously get things in order around here, especially the guest room/office, it is a disaster area and I don't really know what to do about it. Thus, I am blogging to avoid it. And doing laundry. it is a good time.

Anyways, I need to go and get at it or I won't be able to watch project runway tonight and that would make me sad since I missed it last week due to my drive to Nebraska.

Okay, I'm off.
Peace out ya'll.

Artic Tundra

Well, the NorthernPrincess has made it back to the frozen north and was welcomed with negitive numbers on the thermometer. Granted it is Feburary and should be expected but it is still not welcomed. The northernprincess is trying to write a paper before 11 and hopefully with get it done with ease. The new laptop is a valuable assest to the paper writing quest. With help of her new friend this hould happen quite nicely. 8am lecture this morning. Not fun for the nothernprincess whom is used to sleeping in on mondays. But she made it with like 2 minutes to spare before class started. Hopefully the rest of the day will go well.

Thanks to everyone in the south for the most fantastic birthday celebration. It was wonderful catching up with all of you again. Well, it is time to start writing.

Peace out, much love.

My Valentine

This little lady is my valentine. She heartfeltly woke with me this morning at 6:30 to help me study for my Psychology of Women test. Then as I burned my tongue on my coffee she meowed at me reminder her that I needed to check her water. And when I returned home this evening after a really crappy day, she meowed "I love you Mom" hopped on my lap and settled in. I love my Jezi-Bell.

Valentine's Day: Reflections

There have only been 2 years when I have actually had a Valentine. My first was with someone whom I still love, and we have an amazing friendship. My second was with someone who I loved very much at the time and now I wish was still a part of my life. But times change. People change. I feel that Valentine's Day is a day that is stupid. Why should one certain day be set aside to tell/show the ones in your life that you love them?

Maybe love is a making an unexpected visit, or getting someone their favorite coffee even though it isn't yours. Maybe love is just holding one another in the dark of night and confessing everything that you have never said before. Maybe love is just when you look at someone and know that without them your life would hold no meaning and not be a joyfully complicated as it is.

That is how I love. That is how my Valentine knows my love. Not because I went out and spent a bunch of money on things that will be forgotten within the next month. But sharing the simple parts of life with eachother. Love is hard. That is what I have learned these past 5 months. But I try to keep working at it. I try to be better. I try to be someone that can be loved.

Tonight I sat here trying to do my homework and thought of all the people in my life that I love. I wonder if they really know it. I wonder if I show it the way that I feel it. I wonder if I could do more... I just don't know what to do to show it. I hope that all of you reading this know that I love you. I hope that you know this without question. I hope that even though we may not be in constant contact you are still in my thoughts almost daily.

So even though the "day of love" is still 24 hours away, I love you. Happy Heart Day. My heart misses you. My heart wishes you were with me. My heart cried a little today without you. My heart, even though not shattered, is broken when we are not together. I wish I could express how sometimes my love. It is so overpowering that I feel like I could burst at any moment because I cannot find the words to tell you how much I Love You. My words, and actions are not enough sometimes.

I know that I am a hard person to love. So indecisive, mean, hard, shelled. But underneath it all I am just a simple girl wanting someone to love me, for who I am, what I am and what I dream to be.

The week is almost over...

Because I am a slacker and only have 2 classes and they are both on monday and tuesday, I am almost done with school for the week. Granted I have to still come in and coach tomorrow, but still not more class work. My goal for this week is to have everything done by Friday morning so that I can enjoy date night and get to go and see Darren on Sunday at Eau Claire. So that is the goal, I just pray that I can make it happen. Unfortunatly I have an 8 chapter test on tuesday next week so I need to spend quite a bit of time studying for that one.
The stress of dealing with a birthday away from home is just making me upset. I want to see my family and friends but there is no way that I can do that because of the tournament. It makes me sad, but I will hopefully be home for spring break so I can celebrate my birthday then. Yea! Anyways, I need to print off my students pop quiz for today and then head off to class. Post again soon, hopefully when something exciting happens.

Where has this day gone?

So it is almost 11pm Sunday night and I just realized that I haven't gotten all of my work done for class this week. Granted, I did finish most of my methods paper but have yet to complete my readings, or my psych paper, or my IRB proposal. What the crap did I do all day? I wish I had the answer, I blame the all day marathon of America's Next Top Model and What Not to Wear. Other than that I don't know what I did today. I did sort through some stuff that has been cluttering my kitchen table but that took like umm.... a half hour. So I am screwed. Oops. But hey I rested a lot. That's good enough for me.

Saturday night ponderings...

It is a Saturday night and I am home, alone sipping on a bottle of Yellow Tail Shiraz thinking about the past few whirlwindish weeks. For those of you who only keep up with my from my blog, I apologize because I have been busy and boring thus having nothing to post about.

I have decided to switch from the M.A. program here to the M.S. program. This decision came about in a way that was not the most pleasant nor non emotional. I had a slight breakdown and seriously contemplated not returning to school in the fall. Granted without education I am not sure what I am but I knew that I was absolutely unhappy with the direction I was going. Instead I went in a chatted it up with my advisor and we decided that maybe the thesis was not what I needed and instead the internship was more what I was looking for in a degree. Now don't get me wrong. I love teaching. I just know that I don't want to do anything more with it than public speaking thus not really finding a need for the entire PhD/teaching experience, I decided that the internship, M.S. is more what I am looking for in this field. It is the same amount of class work, but while everyone is working and fevering over their thesis' I will be going to work. Getting the hands-on experience that I crave.

So that is one thing that has been keeping me up at night. I have also been crazy with traveling this semester and coaching and trying to stay on top on my readings/papers/projects so that I don't have an opportunity to fall behind and stress myself out. This has been a very trying year thus far. I was hoping that I would be able to work some on my own stuff out but instead I find myself falling deeper into the dark hole of my self-deprecating mind and being unable to find the light at the tip, so far the light looks like a little pinprick. But I am working on it. I know that that sounds a little depressing and it is, I do not deny that I need to find my way back to my doctor and get a prescrip. update, but I want to try it on my own and so far it has not been working. I try, really really hard and all that seems to come of my self-sacrificing is hurt. I have tried to be what everyone here wants me to be and all I did was get burned by a very large bonfire in the process.

However, I know that there is nothing I can do to put out the fire. I can't find a bucket, or a hose for water. I just seem to let it burn and hopefully someway that fire will burnout on its own. So I walk away from that fire and pray that nobody else gets burned in the process.
I am not a bad person. I feel like I have the right intentions and when I ask for help it just tosses another log onto the already brightly burning fire. I do not claim nor have I ever claimed to be perfect, but cant we just roast some marshmallows and hot dogs until we are full and giddy with sugar and move on from all of this? I don't know what else to do. I don't even know if I have the energy to start. So fire, keep burning, until you find your way out.

My work as a coach has been delightfully rewarding these days. And my work as an instructor as well. I hope it continues in the right direction as a semester continues.

Well, Saturday night, I suppose it is time to get back to homework. Then maybe cleaning a little so that I can start rearranging my bedroom.

Have a beautiful day, and thanks for sticking this out with me.

Picture Updates...it's been awhile.

NorthernPrincess and Bestfrienda always match, even if they don't plan it. (New Year's Eve Eve party that ruined the real New Year's Eve.)
NorthernPrincess and KristinFriend rockin it out at the end of the semester party.
ooo baby. NorthernPrinces and baby chillin' at RubyTuesday. This NorthernPrincess has got to get her one of those.
NorthernPrincess and Brock at the Dirty O. There's always something dirty at the Dirty O, but it isn't us. We're HOTT, even if Brock is turning into a mountain man.

Another week has passed...

So it has been awhile since I have posted. I wish I could say that there has been tons of fun things happening, but there hasn't. I travelled last weekend to Iowa, we had a good time, picked up three more quals. First day of class was last tuesday. It was okay. I was sick and didn't really feel like teaching. Wednesday, Thursday and Friday were spent in bed sleeping. Yesterday sucked really really bad. I dropped a class, decided that grad school may not be the place for me, cried alot, felt stupid. Got evals back from last semester. Just an all around bad day. So I need to get ready to go to school because I have to finish my lesson plans for tonights class and finish up some reading for my psych of women class. So good bye all. Lets hope today is better than yesterday.

You know that feeling you get after you've spent a bunch of time with people and then you go home and you are alone and it feels kinda funny? I feel like that. Except I feel like even though I spent the last weekend surrounded in love, I still felt alone and scared. I don't know why. I don't understand it. Maybe it is the drugs from the cold, maybe it is the seriousness of the talks, maybe it is the contemplation of the future. I don't exactly know what it is all I know is that I am lonely and I have to go to school tomorrow and I can't hear out of my left ear, my syllabus is not done, nor is my lesson plan, I want to go back to bed and sleep for like 47 hours until I don't feel sick anymore. Until I don't feel empty inside. Until I know that this is not a fluke. I finally quit feeling like everything would end tomorrow and now I feel like that again. I hate when I second guess my happiness, I think I deserve at least a little bit of it. Why do I always have to ruin the things that make me happy? Why does it have to hurt?

HoHmmm....

So the last few days have been pretty uneventful. I got the death plague and have been in bed for most of the last few days, only to get out of bed to drive to the store and get more medicine. But today I made it to the workday and it was totally worth it. It was awesome to see the kids working hard on their stuff again. Then I was offered the opportunity to go and judge at HFO which I unfortunately had to turn down due to the fact that I feel like total ass and being on no sleep for four day will not help my wellness factor. So I am not going and I am sad, and I am sick and it sucks. Ugh.

A flurry of activity...

Wow, so it has been at least a week since I last posted. In that time I have....
...had a crazy Christmas.
...saw John and his family.
...had a crazy new years eve eve
...had a lame, tired new years eve (not really, just a little uneventful.)
...went shopping with mom and dad
...saw friends from High School, we all felt old.
...chatted with Buddy big dog.
...missed Minnesota.
...spent some amazing quality time with my bestfrienda.
...lost a friend (I don't know why... I can't say I hurt to much about it.)
...gotten excited about school again.
...slept ALOT!
...danced.
...spent time in Minneapolis/St.Paul/Maplewood.
...attended a crazy Christmas party.
...told someone that they have bad technique.
...talked in my sleep about missing tournaments and getting on trains.
...laughed ALOT!
...cried a little.
...celebrated John's 5th Birthday.
...fought with Jezi-Bell.
...cleaned my room, kinda, okay not really.
...caught up on most of my t.v. shows.
...found myself again.
...caught a cold.
...attended a few interesting parties while back in NE.
...sang karaoke.
...made a few slams on persons and their being, but it was funny and I don't really remember it so I claim it to be okay.
...gotten caught.
...been scandalous.
and

remembered why I love home and why I love Minnesota.

So, as you can see it has been a pretty busy few weeks. I loved being home but it was definitely time to get back up to my own apartment, back to my life, back to my someone who was waiting for me. I'm sorry if I didn't get to see you when I was back, I am hoping to make it again before my birthday. I have TONS!! of pictures that I will try to load on here soon but I got a new camera awhile ago and I can't figure out how to do that. But I will try. I am going to try and be productive again but the meds I got are kinda kicking my butt and all I want to do is sleep.

Anyways, peace out, I love you all...

p.s. Happy 4, some of you may know what I mean.

100th Post

I am finally in Hastings again. YEA! I love Hastings, it really feels like I am home when I am here. Even though most everyone is gone, it is still fantastic. Last night went into My Bar (Murphy's) and do you know what they did, got rid of like 5 tall tables and put in a stupid shuffleboard table. Thats just dumb. Ugh. Stayed at Mauri and Naters last night it was awesome. I miss great engaging conversations and actually being listened to, even if they don't agree, they still listen, it is fabulous. Going to be chillin' here again tonight. Got to see Bestfrienda this afternoon we got coffee and chatted and had cheesecake it was wonderful. He went to work and now I am sitting in his apartment watchin Family Feud and just chillin'. Will probably go out with Brock again tonight. I am suppossed to go out to a party with Ben I need to call him and get the details about that. Then tomorrow back to Sodtown to get prepped for the Christmas day festivities. It will be a long weekend but it will be great to see everyone. I think that I am going to go and take a nap now, will write again soon.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!

Home.

Well, I am home. I wish I could say that it is has been extreamly exciting and a whirlwind of activity, but it hasn't. I have slept, went shopping with mom and dad, got in a fight with dad about something stupid, missed Minnesota, drank lots of coffee, called a ton of people to make plans while I'm back, got a ton of stuff from mom, fought with stupid dial-up, and checked my facebook a million times. Going well so far...yeah. Really it isn't bad, i mean really, what would I be doing in I were in MN? The same things, everyone is gone there too, so really I am probably better off here, where there is an off chance that someone would call me to hang out.

Okay, I think that I am going to go and watch t.v. or read or something. Yeah, that is what I will do, and drink more coffee.

Okay, peace out. I don't even know if anyone reads this anymore but I will keep posting just in case.... sorry if you do read this, for being so boring.

I'm so excited I could pee...

Okay so in less than 2 hours I will be on my way home to Nebraska! I can't even believe that this is actually happening. Yea. I love Christmas and having an entire month off of school for me to be able to be home, it will be the last time for a very long time. Today has been spent cleaning a little, not as much as I should, doing laundry, packing, brushing Jezi-Bell (it is a process), and getting myself ready to be home for two weeks with ma and dad.

I found three dollars in my laundry today! YEA! Unfortunately I forgot to take the chapstick that CharChar gave me out of my pocket and it got melted, but hey with the three dollars I found I could go and buy new chapstick, see it all works out.

I still need to...
-get dressed
-load up my car
-top of the tank
-eat
-pack up all of Bella's crap
-make sure everything is off and okay for two weeks.
-GET OUT OF HERE!

Yea, okay I need to get moving again. I found out my friend that is in Japan is back for Christmas so I get to see her YEA! Goodness, I am way to excited today. I will write when I can from home. Love to all!

See you in NE!

DONE!

After a long and hectic last few weeks this NorthernPrincess is finally done with her first semester of graduate school. She is feeling a little emotional about the whole thing but is so glad to be done, the weekend was spent partying and chilling with good friends and company in the cities. While the NorthernPrincess was supposed to come home on Saturday she extended her stay to take care of Heather and her sprained ankle and to soak in some much needed down time. Lots of naps and movies and days in bed all weekend made this NorthernPrincess feel whole again, a little less stressed and ready for the drive back to Nebraska. While she was supposed to get cleaning and packing done today, she instead took in more T.V. time and will just have to get everything done tomorrow before heading off to Omaha for the first of many visits to friends and family over the holiday break. While a little leary of spending two weeks at home with nothing to keep her occupied this NorthernPrincess is excited to see her ma and dad and buddy big dog and the rest of the fam.
Feeling a little nostalgic, NorthernPrincess sat and pondered the good thing that have happened since moving to the icy, cold northland. The following list sums up most of what has been going on for the last 6 months.

1) NorthernPrincess finally has a since of who she is.
2) NorthernPrincess found out that she can make it on her own.
3) NorthernPrincess has met and befriended some truly amazing people that have helped change her life.
4) NorthernPrincess knows that there will be a day when things do not seem so hard and that no matter where she is, she will always have love and support and a place to go home to.

While she can't wait to get a move on out of St. Peter tomorrow, NorthernPrincess probably won't leave until mid-afternoon because Omaha friend has to work until 9, which gives this NorthernPrincess time to pack, clean, and prepare angry kitty for the drive. Although she wants to get home quickly an overnight stop is necessary in Omaha to see an old friend on the way to reintergrating herself back to life in Nebraska, back to a life she feels to far removed from these days, back to a life that feels normal, a life that she has missed but knows will never be the same.

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays to all. I hope to see most of you when I am back home. I love you all.

I'm getting there...

Okay only 2 days left of school. I am finally seeing some kind of accomplishment. I still have alot of work to do but it is getting easier to fight my way through it. I have almost all of my theory final done. I am taking a break from it and I am going to watch devine secrets of the ya-ya sisterhood now (its for my gender project), then finish theory, then back to gender. It will all work out. Plan is to be done with both by mid tomorrow, then grading and then done! I can do it. I know I can. Just gotta keep on truckin'. Okay, popcorn is done, back to movie.

You know that you have hit the bottom when...

1) you start to enjoy the taste of Our Family cola products because you are to broke to by real coke
2) double fistin' it no longer means a mixed drink and a beer but now is a 24oz coffee and an Our Family Cola product
3) you procrastinate by looking at peoples blogs whom you don't even know
4) you get mad at your friends for not updating their blogs or facebooks so that you have something to read
5) you have so much to do that you don't even want to start it cause you don't know where to start.
6) you try to make new sounds with your mouth and when you find one, you try to make up songs using the new sound and then laugh at yourself hysterically and then try to call everyone you know to make them listen to the new sound but no one answers and you are sad.
7) you think of really funny gifts to get the special person in your life and then ponder the reaction you will receive upon giving said gift, then decide it would be a bad idea and start over again
8) you have texted everyone you know.
9) you have checked every email account you have 4 times in the last hour.
10) you have researched how you should get your haircut next
11) you ponder the basic food groups and wonder if it is really necessary to eat something in all of them.
12) you want to do the dishes.
13) you have brushed your pet and cleaned her box, and given her fresh food and water, and wonder what else she may want because she is still screaming at you about something.
14) you have wondered for the last half hour why your phone hasn't rang yet.
15) you have thought about every song you sing for karaoke, downloaded them and practiced.
16) researched alternate routes home in case of snow, ice, or any other weather inconvenience.
17) you have planned your Christmas outfit already.
18) you have planned your New Year's party outfit already.
19) you went to the gas station in your slippers because you forgot you weren't wearing shoes.
20) you decide to take another shower ( your 4th for the day).

So this is what I have been doing tonight.
1) all of the above.
2) watched a ton of reality T.V.
3) thinking about Christmas/new years/ being home
4) getting mad at myself for not getting anything done.
5) drinking coffee, eating chocolate, drinking Our Family Cola products, eating tacos, wondering what I should be doing and where should I start.

so now, I think that I am going to go and watch a movie for my gender project and then go to bed. Hopefully get up early and get a good start on stuff.
g'night y'all.

oops.

Umm. You know when you lie down for like 30 minutes just to reguvinate and then we accidentally wake up 5 hours later? Yeah, that just happenend to me. And now I feel so tired that I don't want to start on homework. Man, this sucks a little. My students took their finals today and I have already recieved 3 emails about when they would be graded. My response to all of the emails is, " I will try to have them done by Wednesday. I also have a few finals to get through and am working on grading tests and portfolios on my study breaks. I will try to have them done Wednesday, but it could be Thursday at the latest." Ugh, students. So far on the 10 tests that I have graded high grade is a 80, low 50. It sucks a little and I feel sorry for them. I dont know how I could have made it any easier. Ugh, students. Okay I really need to do some work now. Cause now I am 5 hours behind. Yea. :( super duper sad puppy face.

Christmas party fun.

So tonight we had our team christmas party and let me say it was a little out of control. Tons of food, lots of laughter and crazy fun white elephant gifts. I ended up with Titanic on VHS and some sort of Jane Fonda work out video. It was fabulous. We did the revealing of the secret snowflake gifts, that too was wonderful. I got a superduper cool travel coffe mug, candy and a starbucks gift certificate. YEA! I love presents. I also love giving them. I think for the first time so far i finally felt like christmas was coming. While I am not ready and am to broke to get people present I still really like christmas. I can't wait to go home and see mom and dad and buddy and grandma and darrick and jaci and everyone. I hope that the anticipation does not interfere with my work but that is getting much closer to being done as well. Thank goodness. One semester of grad school down, only 3 more to go...ugh.

an update of what I have done and what I have left to do.

1) Theory Skill Four due tomorrow ( DONE)
2) Teaching Philosophy due yesterday.
3) Gender Group Project Paper due Thursday (DONE)
4) Comm. Ed. Group project presentation, Monday (DONE)
5) Gender group project presentation, Tuesday (DONE)
6) Theory Portfolio due Wednesday (DONE)
7) Theory Portfolio presentation, Wednesday (DONE)
8) Teaching portfolio due Monday 12th
9) Gender Final Grad. Project due Monday 12
10) Grade all of my students papers ASAP, should be done by this Friday.(DONE)
11) Grade students group portfolios by Tuesday 13th.
13) Grade students finals by Tuesday 13th
14) Theory final exam due Wednesday 14th
15) Turn in all of students final grades by Thursday 15th
TRY NOT TO GO CRAZY INSANE! GOAL FOR EVERYDAY FOR NEXT THREE WEEKS. ( WORKING ON IT)
NOT LET LIFE GET ME DOWN! GOAL EVERYDAY FOR NEXT THREE WEEKS.NOT GIVE UP AND QUIT! GOAL EVERYDAY FOR NEXT THREE WEEKS. (TRYING REALLY HARD)
NOT BE DISTRACTED BY OTHERS AND BLOGGING! GOAL EVERYDAY FOR NEXT THREE WEEKS.( OOPS.)

I shouldn't be doing this...

I shouldn't be doing this but I am, cause well all I really have to answer to is me and since I am the one writing I can't really punish myself I mean really what would I do. Holly, you can not have water today cause you blogged instead of working on your portfolio. No I cannot really do that to myself so here I am blogging. Ugh. I am going to be done soon though. I can almost see the light. Well, not really but I am trying. Okay I am gone. Back to work. Just wanted to update a little.

Roar

Dear Person that Makes the Weather,
why do you hate me? I don't understand what I did to you. I do not like waking up to hear the the ground temp. is -12 and that it feels like -15. It hurts my soul. I understand Mr./Ms. Weathermaker that I live in Minnesota but even the natives tell me that it is not ususally this cold. Granted Mr./Ms. Weathermaker that you have not make it snow in Mankato/St. Peta for a week now and for that I am greatful, but still, it hurts my hands when it is this cold and it takes my feet hours to thaw out from being this cold. Even if I wear my big gloves and my thermal socks it is cold. And when it is that cold and then my hands and my feet start to warm it feels like burning flames. I don't like that much, so Mr./Ms. Weathermaker, could you please lighten up a little bit, just for awhile?? Please? I am sorry for whatever I have done to you, please forgive me and make it stop being hurty cold.

thanks.
Love,
Holly

One Week Left...

Okay so it is Monday again and I am not excited at all. I wish I could have stayed in bed this morning instead of waking and realizing how far behind in things I am. Knowing that last night was the last night of real sleep I will get for a few days. I am not sure how else to get everything done by Wednesday except by pulling all nighters and working my ass of during the day. It is okay though because after Wednesday things get a little bit easier, not done but easier.

Okay I need to get back to work. Write again soon for an update on my progress.

Things I did not know.

There are several things that I learned today that I did know know before.

They are:

1) I can get free wireless internet at Denny's (that's where I am at right now)
2) If you look busy, the employees of the coffee shop will not kick you out until they leave.
3) I know alot of stuff.
4) Cream cheese puffs are not nearly as good Crab Rangoon.
5) I LOVE SESEME CHICKEN!
6) I have severly missed chineese food.
7) It is okay to sit in Denny's for 3 hours and only order coffee and the server will still come back and ask how things are going and if I would like any more coffee.
8) I really need to get my own laptop.
9) I am really lazy.
10) Kicking frozen snow off of the car may result in a broken toe.

Okay I am getting back to work now. Thanks to my loyal blog readers even though you never post. I know you are still there.

Things I have to do before Thursday, December 15th.

1) Theory Skill Four due tomorrow
2) Teaching Philosophy due yesterday.
3) Gender Group Project Paper due Thursday
4) Comm. Ed. Group project presentation, Monday
5) Gender group project presentation, Tuesday
6) Theory Portfolio due Wednesday
7) Theory Portfolio presentation, Wednesday
8) Teaching portfolio due Monday 12th
9) Gender Final Grad. Project due Monday 12
10) Grade all of my students papers ASAP, should be done by this Friday.
11) Grade students group portfolios by Tuesday 13th.
13) Grade students midterms by Tuesday 13th
14) Theory final exam due Wednesday 14th
15) Turn in all of students final grades by Thursday 15th

TRY NOT TO GO CRAZY INSANE! GOAL FOR EVERYDAY FOR NEXT THREE WEEKS.
NOT LET LIFE GET ME DOWN! GOAL EVERYDAY FOR NEXT THREE WEEKS.
NOT GIVE UP AND QUIT! GOAL EVERYDAY FOR NEXT THREE WEEK.
NOT BE DISTRACTED BY OTHERS AND BLOGGING! GOAL EVERYDAY FOR NEXT THREE WEEKS.

Things I shouldn't have done today(2)...

Things that I should not have done today...
1) Cried while interviewing someone.
2) Freaked out on a student I was coaching.
3) Made someone jealous.
4) Rode the bus. (Buses are scary when it is snowy outside)
5) Made a to-do list instead of listening to lecture.
6) Put off doing homework for the sake of blogging.
7) Made an afternoon phone call with nothing to say.
8) Wrote stupid emails to people simply because I didn't want to do work.
9) Laughed at my boss.
10) Played on Facebook for an hour instead of doing homework.
11) Agreed to something that I don't think I am ready for.
12) Took a nap.
13) Watched America's Next Top Model and thought I would be better then all of them.
14) Distracted my friends when they were working on homework.
15) Yelled at the library lady when she wouldn't get me a laptop.
16) Thought about someone all day.
17) Kept quiet when I really did have something to say.
18) Laundry at 9p when I know that I shouldn't do laundry after then cause it keeps the people next to the laundry room awake.
19) Drank 2 pots of coffee.
20) Said to myself, "If you make it through the next 3 weeks, it will all be worth it." Even though I know that is a lie.
21) Thought about going to bed even though I am not done with my paper that is due tomorrow.
22) Wanted to go running around in the snow like I was 5 again.
23) Bitched about how much Minnesota sucks in front of a bunch of Minnesotans.
24) Got jealous over something stupid.
25) Questioned all of my relationships.
26) Wondered if people really do care or if they just pretend to because they think that I won't make it.
27) Let this list get to long.
28) Not know when to stop, cause I don't want to do work.
29) Wish it was Christmas.
30) Theorized my life.

I'm home.

Hello everyone!
I made it back from Nebraska last night okay. It was a LONG zero visibility drive but I made it without any problems.

Bestfrienda and I had a beautiful weekend. We ate lots of turkey (his name was Walter), I forgot the stuffing though but we made it work anyways. Danced alot, I made a snow angel, broke my hip and then had an overly entertaining drive back to NE where we then proceeded to go out dancing again at the MAX. It was a wonderful relaxing, fun, crazy, beautiful weekend. Thanks to all that were involved. You know who you are.

Alright, since I didn't get any work done this weekend. I need to get some done now. Peace out. Love to all.
-NorthernPrincess

Yea Break.

So break starts tomorrow well technically at 6pm tonight but for real tomorrow cause my bestfrienda will be here and it will be a party.

Boston was okay. I suppose if I didn't get into an accident and get airbag burns on my chin and chest and just feel like crap I would have had a better time. However, I did get mistaken for a homeless person so that was a highlight. I got lost a few times but one time I discovered JFK's birthplace so that was cool I guess. I took a picture. That is good enough. I think that I would like to go back to Boston sometime maybe in a less stressful situation.

Karaoke tonight! Yea, it will be fabulous! I am excited. Okay well I need to do some car shopping and then get to the library before class to finish up some research before break so that I can get it done during break. Yeah, there is never really a break for me. Ugh, that was pathetic.

Peace out.

On my way...

Okay since Minnesota sucks, it decided to snow today leaving Northern Princess and friends in a panic on how long it will take to get to the airport because of the icy roads. So instead of leaving at 2:30 the girls are leaving at 12:30... yea! Hopefully the roads won't be bad and the girls will just sit down and have a nice dinner/breakfast at Denny's. This northern princess is so excited to go to Boston that she can't hardly wait. While she will miss some back in Minnesota the excitement of the city and the conference will hopefully take care of the homesickness. Well, it is time to go and load Hoss and get her started so that Northern Princess doesn't have to scrape all of the ice of her windows. Love to all. I will be home on Sunday.

Quick Post

Okay so I only have like 2 mins to post. Here's whats going on. Had a beautiful weekend. Want details, email me. Leave for Boston for NCA in less than 24 hours. Excited, stressed. I have a million things to do but am not feeling well so I have been sleeping in a little to much lately. Bad news bears. Now i have to go. I will try to write again soon before I take off tomorrow morning.
Alright, love you.

It getting closer...

YEA so in exactly one week the Northern Princess and friends will be in BOSTON for NCA. This Northern Princess is so excited she might die. Only bad thing is that Boston already has snow unlike here in the northerland and northern princess was hoping to avoid that for as long as possible. Anyway, it will get to be a fabulous time and many southern friends will be there to catch up with. Yea!

Other news, observation went very well for the Northern Princess. Her knee is feeling better after the fall, even though it looks really gross and her body hurts from straining many different muscles Northern Princess is doing quite well these days. Nothing to complain about I guess.
Northern Princess is working on getting registered for classes next semester, that is a fun chore. She is not sure what she wants to take or can take so that adds a little stress but northern princess will work though it. No big deal. Anyways, this northern princess needs to get her butt in the shower and head off to school for a relatively short days with plans for a long weekend in the cities, shopping has to be done or this northern princess is either going to freeze to death or look like crap in Boston, either will not be had so a weekend shopping trip is in order.

Alright y'all, have a beautiful day, think of me cause I'm pretty, and have a great weekend.

real quick

okay things are good. i am getting ready to go and teach. Being observed, nervous. fell down today, hurt my knee and my ego a bit. also ripped new pants, sad sad day. :( off to class love to all.

Where has all of the time gone?

After a long weekend in South Dakota, The Northern Princess woke up early yesterday only to realize that there are only 4 more weeks of class until finals. Once the state of panic had passed the Northern Princess sat down to outline all of the things that she needed to get done before December 12th. While that was supposed to put her at ease, it did not and instead made the panic worse. Unfortuanly, it did not motivate her to get out of bed and work on anything, instead lulled her off to sleep once again. Upon waking around 2pm the Northern Princess made three lists. One of what she needs to do socially, one of class assignments, and one of what she needed to teach her students by the end of the semester. These lists helped out because the Northern Princess realized that the way that things are spread out all tasks are able to be accomplished with minimal stress. Although anyone that knows the Northern Princess they know that she works much better under stress. So things are much better today.

The Northern Princess is still fighting her yuckie sickness and today feels like a tiny man with a hammer is living inside of her brain beating the inside of her head at a nice rythmic tempo. Not fun at all. So while she knows that she has tons and tons to get done, Northern Princess would like to take a nap. Unfortunatly with the big trip to Boston coming up that cannot happen and instead of napping, Northern Princess will fight her way through 6 journal article readings for class tonight and then work on grading speeches before finally crashing, hopefully before 2 am. And while Tuesday is a fairly easy day for her, this week the Northern Princess is being observed in class so that adds stress and has to run karaoke Tuesday night at Bandana. So sleep on Tuesday will more then likely be optional yet on Wednesday should be able to catch up before the weekend gets crazy again. Then three days until flying to Boston, then three days until Bestfrienda gets here for Thanksgiving and the party starts for the downhill part of the semester.

Nothing much more is going on in this princesses life. Just dealing day by day.

So off to get some reading done. Much love.

Why me?

I know that I am constantly asking why me but this time I really mean it. I am sick. I have some sort of respiratory infection that requires an inhaler and horse pills and I still can't catch my breath after moving from my bed to the couch. Not only am I sick I have to be observed in class today and I don't think that I should even drive into Mankato cause I might drive off the road. AND, and I was supposed to go see Blue October last night and instead while everyone was out enjoying their Halloween I was on my couch crying because I hurt everywhere and I can't breathe. AND AND I have a huge paper due tomorrow for my Comm. Theory class and I don't know when I am going to do it cause all I have the energy to do is lie in bed and watch t.v. I hate this. I wish that someone would come and take care of me. I just don't know what to do... yuck.

Ugh, the sickness....

Okay, so I am sick. Not like I am going to die sick although at times I cough so hard it feels like I am going to die but I know that I am not that bad yet. It just sucks cause I have like a million things to do and all I want to do is lie in bed because my body aches. So I wrote a paper today that is possible the biggest piece of crap that I have ever written because I just didn't have the brain power to write in any sort of academic way. Oh, I have a phone call. I will write more later.

You scored as DI. You are a dramatic interpretation. You are drama, drama, drama! You like to set trends and be on the cutting edge of every bit of gossip! DI 83% Experimental 83% Faith Lit. 75% Poetry 75% Prose 67% Readers' Theatre 67% STE 58% Impromptu 58% Persuasion 50% POI 50% Informative 42% Duo 33% RC 33% Extemp 25% What Intercollegiate Forensics Individual Event Are You? created with QuizFarm.com

Lazy days, with so much work to do...

So this is the first weekend that I have had off in the last 6 weeks. And I meant for this weekend to be full of studious work. Thus far I have, gotten groceries, done my laundry, watched Stepmom, Runaway Bride, 5 episodes of The Modern Girls Guide to Life, countless hours of What Not to Wear and am currently watching Iron Chef America. While my scholarly endeavors are not being successful I am enjoying the relaxation. It is kinda nice not having an agenda. However, now I need one. I have a paper due on Tuesday for Gender, I am being observed in SPEE 100 so I need a flawless lesson plan, and I have part of my Theory Portfolio due on Wednesday. And Blue October is playing in Minneapolis on Monday night and I really really want to go so I need to get a move on everything.

Also, I got a job. Everyone raise your hand if you are the new karaoke DJ for Double Trouble Productions. I am! Yea, I have a show tonight so that is making my productivity go down just a little bit. Oh well. I get paid for it.

I have tons of new pictures but haven't taken the time to upload my new digital camera software yet so that sucks a little. But as soon as I do that there will me pics of me and bestfrienda from his visit here.

Okay, I think that I am going to take a shower(its been a couple of days.... ewww gross) and then get working on at least reading my article for my paper. So have a beautiful rest of the weekend everyone. Peace and Love, I miss you all.

One of those days....

Ahh... This is how my week has been... So true. I love this comic... It makes me feel normal again...

NEWS:
Got my midterm evals. Sad day. They actually weren't that bad. A tip for anyone reading this. DO NOT GIVE BACK MIDTERMS IF YOU DO NOT WANT YOUR STUDENTS TO CHALLENGE YOUR KNOWLEDGE AND COMPETENCE.... I made a mistake.
Other then that, I am looking forward to a relaxing evening of reading about social class and its effect on childrearing in black and white families, yea! I love com theory.

P.S. If you did not catch the sarcasm in that last statement, you do not know me at all. I am ashamed that you even read my blog.

I think that some of us are going to hit up Bandana for some singin'. I am in LOVE with the person that runs kareoke... I can't wait to go. I need to go and plan my outfit so I look good. tee hee. I am such a girl today.

Fun weekend...But just an OK start to the week...

So, this weekend found one NorthernPrincess and the Maverick Forensics Girls plus Coach Leah and Coach Merci in Waverly, Iowa. Yes, Iowa. Now anyone that knows this one NorthernPrincess understands her utter distaste for Iowa. There are a few perks of the state but those are ones that this NorthernPrincess cannot express on her blog, so if you are dying to know what they are, email her. Anyways, the tournament went well. Everyone had a good time. It was actually a really laid back fun girlie weekend with people that the NorthernPrincess did not know very well and was a little nervous about traveling with them. BUT all went well. Actually better then just well. The NorthernPrincess felt that she was actually connecting with people and got some REAL positive feedback on her being so it was good.

Then all was lost when said NorthernPrincess returned home from DIVA weekend and faced mounds of problems with many in her life. While too numerous to mention the issues that plagued the NorthernPrincess on Sunday continued on into Monday. Thus making the start of the week not go great. But there were some positive things that came of Monday.
They are:
1) NorthernPrincess figured out why she is having such a hard time dealing with things right now.
2)NorthernPrincess got compliments about her coaching style from someone she respects.
3)NorthernPrincess had quality time with one of the other coaches.
4)NorthernPrincess told people how she really feels about things.
5)NorthernPrincess had 1/2 appetizer at Applebees and HoneyWiess for a dollar.
6)NorthernPrincess laughed.
7)NorthernPrincess had a whole day where she did not want to call one said bestfrienda and cry.
8)NorthernPrincess has not called anyone from Nebraska praying that they will answer and tell her that they miss her.
9)NorthernPrincess engaged in real conversation with a colleague that did not result in NorthernPrincess being upset.
10)NorthernPrincess knows that it will all be okay.

So yeah, this NorthernPrincess need to read for class and then take a nap or try to get at least 6 hours of sleep. So good night to all. Peace out. I love you.

Fun things about Thursday...

Okay, so it is Thursday and the last official day of my week. I love it! Unfortunately Coach NorthernPrincess has to be in full force today with 4 hours of coaching appointments and a student making up the midterm, I will be on campus to too many hours today. It is okay though because in two days I will be together with my bestfrienda #2 catching up and telling fun stories about significant others. I am excited.

Lesson Learned. I need to read Harry Potter in order to fit in in this office. I suppose in one of my hours of free time I will start reading that.

Danielle has a scary laugh. She is laughing right now and I am scared. I don't know what to do about it except for retreat into my little world in my head and pretend that it is not happening.

I am hopefully going to St. Paul tonight for an evening out of the Katoland. HOPEFULLY... As long as coaching does not suck any will to live that I have left.

More thinking about if I won the lottery. I would hire Kristinfriend as my lawyer, Bestfrienda #2 as my PR guy and Bestfrienda as my bestfreinda. I will then create my own college called, The NorthernPrincess College of Communication, where I will hire all of my communication and speech friends to teach and coach. I will run admissions where if I think that you are pretty then you can get in. The WelshGoddess will be my connection to famous people, SnT will be in charge of foreign affairs, Brock will be our mental specialist, Brycie will be my personal assistant, Jesus will be my fashion consultant, and everyone else will hold positions as well, I just haven't thought them up yet. It will be fun.

Okay I need to go and do some sort of work. Peace and Love to all of my blog readers.

P.S. only one response about my high maintenance self. That means that consensus is that I am NOT high maintenance.... Unless someone beside char char would like to respond. Because if you all don't.... She may taunt me with her knowledge... I am not sure that makes sense in that sentence but I felt like adding it anyway.

If I won the lottery...

If I won the lottery today I would be happy. I would not have to worry about how I am funding my trip to Boston, my student loans, and in general things would be easier right now. While I know that money does not solve all problems it sure would help out. Okay so enough of that. Things are good today. I had all morning to jack around and work on homework and sleep. I love sleeping. I miss sleeping sometimes but I realize that there will come a day when it does not become such a need.

Only three days until I get to see Bestfrienda #2. I can't wait. It has almost been 4 months since I have seen him. It will be FABULOUS!

So yeah, I dont really have much to say right now, I need to get to a meeting and then coaching then getting my readings done for class tonight. Yea another busy day in the life of this northernprincess.

Oh yeah, today while I was driving in to Mankato it really felt comfortable like it was home. It was a good feeling.

Things that I should NOT have done today...

Overslept.
Contemplated stealing a bike.
Flirted with a student.
Worn pretty shoes.
Worn pretty shoes cause I knew that I would have to walk 18 blocks to my car.
Called my mom.
Called my mom because she told me how much my cell phone bill for last month was.
Figured my budget.
Had 3 Dr. Pepper's in 4 hours.
Called my student a bastard because he did not write his name on the board.
Laughed at one of the answers on my students midterms.
Laughed at a grade on one my students midterm.
Forgotten my evals.
Forgotten to print my homework at school so I didn't have to waste my ink at home.
Contemplated pushing a child off of their rollerblades to see if they would cry.
Contemplated rolling around in the leaves outside of Armstrong Hall.
Thought about pushing the ugly loud girl in the fountain.
Said, "stop it, or I will kick you in the face!" to my boss.

Thats it for now. I am sure there will be more later, it is only 7:00.

???

It has been brought to my attention that I may be high maintenance. What do my blog readers think?

Better Today.

I quick post to tell everyone that I am better today. I had some Chic-Fil-A and now the world is wonderful again. Okay not because of the Chic-Fil-A but still, it did make me happy. I know that yesterday was a sad day but those days will happen. I just need to deal with them and hopefully have a better grasp on reality then I did yesterday. People do not hate me, I am not a bad teacher, I have cute shoes, I am smart, I should be in Grad. School. I am a worthwhile human being. Okay, I have a coaches meeting in like 15 minutes, and I still need to prep what I am going to teach tonight in class, AHHH damn me for sleeping last night. I knew that I shouldn't have done it. Alright, off to try and get something done.

Alone.

I guess that maybe I am a little depressed today. I am lonely. I am constantly surrounded by people but am and lonely. No one knows me here. I am tired of hurting peoples feelings becuase I can not verbalize the struggle that I am having in my life right now. I want to be happy. I want to not feel like I am going to cry all of the time. I want to have one conversation with someone where all we do is laugh and I don't miss my friends back home. I want to not feel like everyone is leaving me. Like I am the one that always has people driving away from them. I want to curl up in my bed and cry and I don't want to do it alone. I want someone to hold me and tell me that it will be okay and not feel like I am being stupid for crying and not feel like I am being judged. I want to not here a song that reminds me of you. I want to not tell you stories everyday about how much I miss you and wanted to tell you something but couldn't because you are not here. I want the feeling of emptiness to go away for one small second and not feel like my heart has a black spot that constantly aches for you. I can't do this anymore. I don't know how. I just want to be happy and I dont know how to do that.

Yea!

So most of my pics from the weekend are up. Yea! I am excited. I love them. It is funny how in every picture I look that same and am on the same side of the person I am taking the picture with and it is even my bad side... hmmm... I don't know. Okay so, so far this week has been okay. I students were fantasic today so that was good. I have make mega progress on my paper tonight and think that I may be able to go out to kareoke(?) and finish my paper and do laundry and coach josh in the next 12 hours. It will be fabulous! Okay I need to go and get stuff done before I freak out. Only 3 days till I see my babies from Hastings! Yea!

Mommy and Daddy. Do I look hungover? I am.
What a PIMP.
Rachael Cassiday! I love you, you are so pretty and you are moving to Madison, what more could you ask for?

My only friend that I keep in touch with from middle and high school. I miss you like burning flame Brycie, I dont know how to do this without you, we've always done it together.
Brock and the Northern Princess... if we got any cuter you may not be able to look at us...
Gabriella Maria Santano Ayala gives good hand jobs....

Coach Farley and Coach NorthernPrincess.... we are fantastic.
Mamma gives good diva kisses...
"Cameron, smile for the camera, dont make faces... Ugh, Dammit NorthernPrincess why did you do that?"-Bestfrienda

"...we fit together..." but not in that dirty O-Town kind of way. I love you bestfrienda, 33 and 1/3 times....
Paige and me being divariffic at the Murphs. Paige I am so glad you are at Hastings, you are wonderful! See you soon, it was great to catch up!

Oh Gwynnie, you so pretty, oh wait, who is the hottie behind you? Oh yeah thats me... Fabulous, Fabulous, Fabulous that is all I have to say about this weekend with you. I have missed you like crazy, it was great to see you again.

Oh Diva! SnT Thanks for alwasy being fabulous and supportive. I miss you like crazy but it is nice to hear how fabulous things are going for you. My Bestfrienda and partner in crime for the weekend. Thanks for being there and loving on me. I miss your laugh.... I think that I should record it.... tee hee...
Brock... thanks for letting me pass out at your house and for driving me around. It was fabulous to see you again, also... if you ever make me cry like that again, we are finished! Ok, not really but still emotional breakdowns at Murph's are not a good thing.

Ahh.. to be back in the Northland again!

Alright, I am am home. And I made it in record time. I am excited for an evening of unwinding from the madness of this past weekend. I had some good thinking time on the way home and I feel like I am finally getting thing figured out. I am not sure what direction to go yet, but I am working on it.

To everyone back home reading this... THANK YOU. I had a beautiful time while back in the H-Town and in Shelton with Mom and Dad and Buddy Big Dog and G-Ma. I miss all of you so much and it makes my heart happy to be welcomed back with open arms. I really appreciate all of the words of encouragement, shoulders to lean on when I was falling down... And crying, and the laughter. I often forget what it feels like to really laugh, I don't do that much here but it is getting better. I know that sounds rather depressing at this point but it is not, I am just being real. Thank you again for making me feel whole again. I love you and miss you all already.

Okay so I need to finish my grading, take a shower and get to bed. I will try to post all of the fun pics yet tonight but I am not sure that I will make it. I am exhausted from the drive and all I want to do is sleep.

Oh yeah, because of the reactions that I received about the Tonic lyrics, I would just like to say... I really like that song, it was playing on my internal jukebox and I typed it out. So to counteract I leave you all with the song that made the drive away from my mommy and daddy and bestfrienda easier....

"Goodbye To You"

Of all the things I've believed in
I just want to get it over with
Tears form behind my eyes
But I do not cry
Counting the days that pass me by
I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old
It feels like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend
And I said,

[Chorus:]
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything that I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems that I can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away
To a place where I am blinded by the light
But it's not right

[Chorus]

And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time
I want what's yours and I want what's mine
I want you
But I'm not giving in this time

[Chorus x2]
And when the stars fall
I will lie awake
You're my shooting star


I love you all... Good Night.

That is NOT what I expected...

So class sucked. I think that all of my students hate me. And I would be fine with that but I had to get mad at them today for not doing their reading. I know that I should expect that from some but in a class of 27 and only one read, well I am not about to accept that. So we had required reading time and homework. I hate yelling at them. I makes me feel like I am a bad teacher. I know that I could stand to put a little more work into my lesson, but at the same time there should be give and take. They are paying for the class. I dont really get paid enough to even think of this as a paid position. I just am frustrated, and sad, and tired, and hurt, and want to go home and curl up with Jezi-Bell and cry until I fall asleep and then wake up only to realize that I am days behind in everything. I guess that means that I can no longer spend my weekends in the cities, or picking apples, or living a semi-normal college life. Ugh, I just want my mom to make me chicken noodle soup and watch sappy movies with me. Only like 26 hours until I am on my way home. I am so excited that I want to cry... or is that the frustration with everything? I am not sure but either way. I need to make the 18 block hike to my car only to then wait around somewhere grading papers waiting for my coaching appointment. Ugh, Tuesday.

Tuesday is a good day...

I just thought that I would get a quick post in before I start on my lesson for class tonight. I hope that all is well with everyone reading this today. Yesterday was the longest most exhausting day that I have had thus far and I am hoping that today is much better. I have a long day of coaching though so we will see how that goes. I know that I just need to get through today and tomorrow and then I have a long fabulous weekend back home. I can't wait, I am so excited. I do with that I would have gotten some sleep last night but I guess that I can't have everything that I want at this point in my life. I know that there is too much going on for me to even expect all of the things that it is that I want, however I will keep trying.

alright, on to my lesson. Yea! I am excited about class today. Lots of fun activities so that I don't have to lecture much. Okay peace out.

A good ending to a great weekend...

As you can see from the recent picture posts, I had a lot of fun this past weekend. I would love to tell you all about it but I have to get started on my lessons, homework and grading now, I just wanted to get the picures up before I forgot.

LOVE TO ALL! Back in Nebraska in 3 days!!!

Quick there is a Fee in a Tree.... pickin apples that is... Fee gets down and dirty with her apple farmin' self.

Desk mates and pumpkins.... Danielle and I took this so that we had something to put on our desk. We are cute.

The whole lot of us at the Apple Orchard. It was a good time. Dannielle, Fee and I even got a little countryed up for the event.

Everybody loves a party

Me and Heather, two fine ladies...well I'm not so much at that point in time but Heather is. I kinda look like I was hit by a bus.
" Hi, my name is Kristin and I think that I have a problem... I am obsessed with New Kids on the Block and I think that I am okay with that."
Char Char say's, "Holly put the camera away... don't you even... ugh, you are in so much trouble."

Ahh.. I am so pretty... even after a long night out on the town...

Fam Pic.

We are the cutiest family in the world...

Yea, a fun pic from Darrick's wedding... yes I am classy.

One Fun Night in the Cities...

Hey Ya'll,
I survived an evening in the cities with Kristin, Heather and Char. Unfortunately I did get a little dramariffic but it was dealt with and now everything is okay. I have some fun pics but am having difficulties getting them to upload so I will try again tomorrow. ONLY 5 MORE DAYS UNTIL I COME HOME!!! YEA!!! Okay I am going to head into Mankato to a party so I will hopefully write more tomorrow when I have time between my apple pickin' gig and grading speeches :( ugh. Alright, Have a Beautiful Evening!
-Northern Princess

If you could only see...

If you could only see the way she loves me then maybe you would understand. Why I feel this way about our love and what I must do. If you could only see how blue her eyes can be when she says... when she says she loves me.

I was listening to some tonic this moring on the way to class and felt inspired to share some lyrics with you all. I hope that you enjoyed it. Can you get the hidden meanings??? Are there hidden meanings?? what do ya think?

I hope that all is well down in the southland. Peace and Love to all.

-Northern Princess

p.s. it is cold here in minnesota, I am wearing a sweater, but DAMN I LOOK HOT! everyone has told me so.

In case you didn't know...

Just in case you may have forgotten.

I AM A PRINCESS. Tee Hee. Now this northern princess has to go and prep for class.

Things that I don't like...

I don't like...
Stepping in liquid when I have socks on.
Listening to people talk when I am doing something really important.
Answering stupid questions.
Waking up wondering if I actually said good-bye or if I just passed out.
Writing things that make no sense and wondering if they were done correctly but not
wanting to try again.
Printing a million pages on my printer because someone was to lazy to create a course packet.
Paying Bills.
Calling my landlord every month because they have messed up on my bill, again.
Hearing how what I am doing is wrong and then being asked for my input.
Telemarketers that interrupt my blogging.
Feeling like I run out of time for everything.
Having to go to school early when all I want to do is lay in bed.
Forgetting to buy stuff on my trip to the store.
Inside jokes that I am not a part of.
Explaining my inside jokes to everyone.
Hiding.
Laughing all the time and then having to explain why I am laughing because really, I don't
know.
Missing home, when I am happy here.
Trying to explain and justify my missing home.
Bad hair days.
Days when my jeans are a little to tight and I dont know why cause I only had one meal
yesterday.
Doing laundry when I have 8 loads and will have to go to the all night laundry mat.
Forgetting birthdays.
Forgetting my own birthday.
My student's thinking that I am 28.


Just a short list of the things that I don't like today.

Wednesday, Wednesday...

I have been trying to post for the last two days but everytime I got started I got distracted. The tournament went well. I love judging almost more then I love competing. I hate school, not because it is overly hard but because of some of the people here stress me out beyond belief. I just don't think that I need to deal with that.

I am avoiding writing a paper that is due tonight at six, I suppose that I should get started soon though. I think I will do that and then post again later.

Okay,
Bye

Okay so this is not the best picture of me, I look angry, but I'm not cause I have HOT new hair. I wish the the pic would have turned out better, I guess I will have to have someone take it of me and not try to do a self-portrait.

TGIT

I know that most people say " THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY!" I say, "THANK GOD IT'S THURSDAY!!!" I only have like 4 hours until this week is over. Well class wise that is. I will spend the rest of the day dealing with the crazy amount of homework that I have because I am traveling this weekend. I know that when we get back on Monday morning I am going to be worthless so i need to get as much of everything done as possible. I HAVE HOT HAIR! My new hair is hot and I even fixed it on my own today and it still looks HOT! I love it. (pictures will come soon). Anyways, I need to head off so that I can get my reading done for class. Talk to you all very soon again.

Oops...

I guess that this Northern Princess had a worse night then she thought. From the sound of her posts last night, she is very sad. But today this Northern Princess is fine again. She thinks that bad conversation and a few too many beers may have affected her judgment on her reality. Because really, it isn't all that bad. Just understand that if she had a choice, she would not choose those people as the ones she gets to know. There would be others.

But this Northern Princess is good today. She gets to coach some poems and do laundry and be lazy all day because it is Sunday and that is what Northern Princesses do on Sundays.

...

I miss understanding.
I miss direction.
I miss laughter.
I miss crying for purpose.
I miss broken hearts with you.
I miss talking.
I miss singing.
I miss dancing.
I miss laziness.
I miss fulfillment.
I miss enlightenment.
I miss questioning.
I miss everything that I used to be.
I miss touch.
I miss holding onto one another and not being afraid.
I miss time.
I miss YOU.
I miss my HOME.

Sometimes in life you find that there are times when you don't want to let anyone in and then you realize by hiding you are only making that wonderful part of you lost. This Northern Princess never wanted to lose that part of her, unfortunately in the move, that has happened. This Northern Princess is torn between who she really is and being what everyone wants her to be. All she really wants is to love everyone and be loved in return, but when those around her don't want that she doesn't know what to do.

I just want to get through the day and not want to run home to my mom and dad crying, someone please try and understand. Someone please listen. Someone please love me.

I am so sick of being lonely that the tears don't even come anymore. I fake my way through happiness because I am tired of being asked what is wrong. I watch "Tommy Lee goes to college," for the mere glimpse that I will see a little piece of home. I call my friends and tell them that everything is okay when all I really wish is for someone to hold me and wipe my tears. I wish that the tears didn't come on a daily basis. I wish that I felt good.

There are two happinesses in my life right now. The thought that I am going to make it through. And someone who doesn't care about my past. Someone new in my life that I can count on Tuesday night phone calls and unjudgemental laughter. Someone who makes me feel like home. Someone who lets me cry and doesn't tell me that things will get better. Someone that makes me feel unshattered, whole. I would give my life to feel that everyday. Unfortunately, that will not happen and I will wake up tomorrow and feel the same way I did today. Numb.

Guess what I found...

Today while cleaning my house I discovered the "Hit List" from the drive up here so I thought that even if it is a few months late, I will share it with you all anyway!

Here we go...

1. .... "No Holly, it's maize..."
2. "HoChunk(s)!? Isn't that what I did in the kitchen sink this morning?"
3. Winnebago High School--Home of the Indians
4. Little Priest Tribal College
5. Pony Express & Heritage Express Gas Stations
6. "Winnebago, maybe that's why their vans suck." -Holly
7. "Bestfreinda, you know what I'm gonna do?!?," Bestfreinda replies, "Not get addicted to gambling."
8. Pop goes in the cup holder not on top of the car.
9. "Oh, my chicken fell down, I'll find it."
"Holly Marie Manning, there was a curve, a hill and a truck."
10. BASE, "that's a giant game of tag!"

Hope all of you can enjoy those, if not I'm sorry but I would be more then happy to tell the stories to go along with them.

Have a great weekend everyone. I have a friend coming down from the cities for the weekend so that should be a good time.

Peace and love to all.
-Northern Princess

ahh. The power of cheese

Okay so I don't know what this post is going to have to do with cheese but I thought it was a fun title for the day. I love Wednesday. I only have one class and it isn't until 6pm so it is a fantastically lazy day. I have to do some coaching this afternoon at 2 so I do need to shower soon but that can wait for awhile. BAD NEWS! My digital camera broke so I wont be able to put any pictures on here for awhile. Sorry. I wrote my first grad. school paper this morning. It was really dumb. I cant wait to come home. Only like 3 weeks to go!!! Well I need to go and start being motivated to move around. Unfortunately I have been a little obsessive with my iPod these days and all I have been doing is download music from all of me CD's. It is crazy. Anyways. I love you all.

...

Woke up this morning with a sense of urgency. Don't know why, until I realized that I had a dream last night the I was the WelshGoddess' agent and we had to get to a shoot today. I don't understand other then that lately I have been questioning if I should be here in the northland and the WelshGoddess wants me to come home for help with Rhet. Crit. Don't understand. Well I have to jet off to school now.

Monday, Monday

Once again the northern princess has found frustration and happiness among the land of technology. Not only did her student mess up big time and not turn in their assignments, they blamed it all on D2L which the northern princess knows was working cause she used it. But oh well, they get one strike.

The northern princess did not sleep well last night, all the thinking about teaching this week and about the crazy weekend kept her up all night. Finally at 6:30 the northern princess said "dammit, I need to sleep. I have to be on campus for 12 hours tomorrow." and magically she fell into a decent 2 hour nap. Unfortunately, the northern princess is not getting to bed much earlier this evening cause she is working on her lesson plans and trying to find ways to make the student not hate her, pay attention when she is giving assignments and make them understand that she will not be anyone mom this year and they all need to be adults for once.

But that is only part of it. The northern princess got herself and iPod last week from Dr. T. And she didn't have the software to get it to work, never mind that her software was so outdated that it wouldn't transfer anything anymore, anyways, the northern princess worked her magic and got an XP upgrade for cheap and now the northern princess is loading her iPod with her fav. music. Her new friend is blue and is needing suggestions for name, if anyone has suggestions, please tell the northern princess cause iPod really does want a name...

Well this princess needs to catch up on her beauty rest so she will go into the magical land of her room and get the required 5 hours of sleep, its 5 cause even though she is a princess she is still a student and 5 hours is all she can spare to sleeping. Have beautiful magical dreams everyone.

Another week gone and one more starting

After realizing that it has been a week since her last post, the northern princess realized that her blog friends were probably wondering what is going on. To be honest, not much really at all, just adjusting to the new life as a teacher/student/coach and dealing with creating new relationships. The past weekend was spent with old friends, taking in much needed t.v. time, a fantastic soccer game, and good conversation. Sadly, all good things come to an end and as the northern princess made her way out the the fabulous Twin Cities, she realized that this new place called the northland really can be her new home if only she could find the right highway out of the city. Once found, the northern princess reflected on her weekend and discovered that even though she is far away from what is comfortable, being uncomfortable is okay sometimes and can lead to some very interesting times. While being out of ones comfort zone can lead to confusion, sometimes is leads to self discovery and that is what this northern princess needs to do. Figuring out how to be herself again with out the comfort of familiarity is difficult but there are always people to help out along that way and that eventually it will not be so bad and this will become familiar and the old be just be home, the place to go to get away and be nostalgic, a place with family, friends, loved ones and a life that she is very happy to have lived. But the new northern princess is no longer the princess in the south cause inevitably a new one has moved on on this northern princess' old space and there is not enough room for two princess', so this northern princess is happy to be northern but still loves everything and everyone is the southland. Peace and love to all...-The Northern Princess

The state fair and a long weekend... What could be better?

This is going to be a real short post cause it took forever to post pics and I need to get to Kato to meet up with friends. The state fair was a blast, unfortunately I eat to ton of grease and sugar and my tummy hated me for days... Ugh, but it was worth it. I was supposed to be productive today but that didn't work out cause I did laundry and the pretty much killed the rest of the day. I am looking forward to the day off tomorrow so that I can work on my lesson plans and get caught up with homework as well as sleep in and relax. We are getting a new girl to the department and I am on the welcoming committee to that will take up some time tomorrow. Fay is a transplant from New Orleans because her school doesn't exist anymore so she is coming up here to the northland to finish up her masters. From what I hear she is pretty cool and is just happy to be getting out of the city and away from all the destruction, so we are all doing what we can to make her feel at home. Well I will give you updates tomorrow when I have a little more time.
Peace and love to all.

Anything you could possible want you can find on a stick at the Minnesota State Fair.
I'm not sure what the deer head has to do with wallleye on a stick in this pic,
but I thought that you all may enjoy it....

Danielle and Hillary with the bucket of cookies.... we all got hats at the fair....
Danielle saw her first cow at the fair, she loved it until she realized that
in order to get leather, you have to kill the cow...

A bucket of cookies from the worlds best cookie place is a great way to add a few pounds
and the perfect dessert when paired with cheese curds. Don't worry though, I did share the cookies...
and went to visit the dairy people and got all you can drink milk for a dollar to wash it all down.

Hey Y'all, here is a picture of me with some of minnesota's finest cheese curds.
And yes, I am wearing a coyboy hat, it's just what you do at the state fair...
and it is pretty damn cute if I do say so myself...

One week down and only 14 more to go...till Christmas that is

So I have made it through my first week of Grad. school! Yea! My first day of teaching went well, but unfortunately I find myself much more entertaining then I students found me to be. But that is okay they will come around. I have a pretty tame week. One major breakdown last night lead to a long night of coffee at Embers with Nadene. I hate those people that just look at you and have to power to make you feel stupid. They should all die.... Not really, they should just realize what they are doing. I have found a great friend in Nadene and am really glad that I have her here. She is FANTASTIC! Unfortunately, our phone conversations leave me with getting nothing that I have planed done, oh well, there is plenty of time for that.

Bad News though. A couple of my friends and fellow T.A.'s are from New Orleans and has been dealing a lot with that situation down there. So Frank has been able to contact his ma and pa but is fairly certain that his g-ma did not survive the storm. Please all of you back home say a little prayer for him and his family. Also my bud Fee's family is still missing and she cannot contact any member of her family back home so keep her in your prayers also. Thanks you guys. It has been a really rough week around the T.A. office and trying to support Frank and Fee to the fullest but I think that we are all doing what we can for them. It is hard knowing that you really arn't giving them the comfort that they need because even they don't really know what it is they need. So any extra prayers that you can send is appreciated.

I think that this weekend a few of us are going to go up to the state fair to test out the cheese curds and buckets of cookies... I am not sure what this is all about but everyone says I need to try it. It is a fantastic that I get a 4 day weekend, I need it. Grad school is hard...

Well, I think that I am going to head off to bed soon so that I can get up early and try to be productive. Peace to all back home, I hope all is going well.

Love ya!
-- The Northern Princess