Sometimes in life you find that there are times when you don't want to let anyone in and then you realize by hiding you are only making that wonderful part of you lost. This Northern Princess never wanted to lose that part of her, unfortunately in the move, that has happened. This Northern Princess is torn between who she really is and being what everyone wants her to be. All she really wants is to love everyone and be loved in return, but when those around her don't want that she doesn't know what to do.

I just want to get through the day and not want to run home to my mom and dad crying, someone please try and understand. Someone please listen. Someone please love me.

I am so sick of being lonely that the tears don't even come anymore. I fake my way through happiness because I am tired of being asked what is wrong. I watch "Tommy Lee goes to college," for the mere glimpse that I will see a little piece of home. I call my friends and tell them that everything is okay when all I really wish is for someone to hold me and wipe my tears. I wish that the tears didn't come on a daily basis. I wish that I felt good.

There are two happinesses in my life right now. The thought that I am going to make it through. And someone who doesn't care about my past. Someone new in my life that I can count on Tuesday night phone calls and unjudgemental laughter. Someone who makes me feel like home. Someone who lets me cry and doesn't tell me that things will get better. Someone that makes me feel unshattered, whole. I would give my life to feel that everyday. Unfortunately, that will not happen and I will wake up tomorrow and feel the same way I did today. Numb.