Alone.

I guess that maybe I am a little depressed today. I am lonely. I am constantly surrounded by people but am and lonely. No one knows me here. I am tired of hurting peoples feelings becuase I can not verbalize the struggle that I am having in my life right now. I want to be happy. I want to not feel like I am going to cry all of the time. I want to have one conversation with someone where all we do is laugh and I don't miss my friends back home. I want to not feel like everyone is leaving me. Like I am the one that always has people driving away from them. I want to curl up in my bed and cry and I don't want to do it alone. I want someone to hold me and tell me that it will be okay and not feel like I am being stupid for crying and not feel like I am being judged. I want to not here a song that reminds me of you. I want to not tell you stories everyday about how much I miss you and wanted to tell you something but couldn't because you are not here. I want the feeling of emptiness to go away for one small second and not feel like my heart has a black spot that constantly aches for you. I can't do this anymore. I don't know how. I just want to be happy and I dont know how to do that.