Okay so today is the start of my last year of my masters. I am excited and dreading the next year all in one emotion. I know that I am so close to being done and yet still feel like it isn't close enough either. I want to be out of here. Moving on. Working and not worrying about Financial Aid and all of the school drama. I mean I really do love school but I am so tired of it that I can't wait until I am done. I hope that this year goes really well so that I can look back and say. Man, that was awesome. We will see.
Got my travel schedule and it is AWESOME! K-State/Hastings, SDSU , Bradley and Stout. I love it. For once I actually get bigger tournaments and it will be swell.
State fair this past weekend. LOVED IT! I tried out for the Oscar Mayer sing the jingle contest and rocked the Bologna song! The video of my performance will be up in a week so I will post it on here when it is ready. Be prepared, there may be JAZZ HANDS involved. It was a blast.
Besides that wonderfulness of Oscar Mayer I eat some cheese curds and a bucket of cookies and then lost them all in a trash can by the cattle barn. I am so proud of myself. But have no fear, I rallied and all was well.
Well I need to go and finish up some stuff before the team meeting but wanted to get in an update. Will post soon.
Hope all is well for everyone else.
-Holly
Monday, August 28, 2006
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Ahhh...
FORENSICS RETREAT ROCKS MY FACE OFF!!!! Okay, really it is just because I am sitting here waiting for something to do.
As for my post last night. I really do appriciate my friends. I am just getting a little frustrated lately with a few certain people.
Lots of talk for the anniversary. It is fun, exciting and a little scary.
I am working on a plan to get home to the Nebraska land sometime at the beginning of October. Right now it is still a pipe dream but working on the details to make it come true.
I am hungry. I wonder if we are getting lunch. Hmm...
Okay I should probably get going to work on nothing again. Loves it.
As for my post last night. I really do appriciate my friends. I am just getting a little frustrated lately with a few certain people.
Lots of talk for the anniversary. It is fun, exciting and a little scary.
I am working on a plan to get home to the Nebraska land sometime at the beginning of October. Right now it is still a pipe dream but working on the details to make it come true.
I am hungry. I wonder if we are getting lunch. Hmm...
Okay I should probably get going to work on nothing again. Loves it.
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
New year, new me.
So for me the start of another school year began today with the first coaches meeting. It went well, we laughed, discussed topics, etc. Tomorrow starts work week. Saturday is the state fair with Kittie, and then school starts on Monday. I am stressed, but not too yet, I haven't really thought much about school yet. The stress will come and then I will remind myself that I am done with my course work in December and then all I have in my internship and the paper and I am DONE with my Master's degree. I can't believe that I am halfway through a degree, I am just now figuring out how to get around Mankato and shortly I will be leaving it, ahh.... I love that thought.
It has been an interesting last month. I have found out a lot about people whom I considered friends but really aren't. I have to wonder if it is really something that I have done or if it is their own insecurity or need to have drama in their lives that causes it all.
I wonder when I will stop trying so hard for everyone else and for once in my life let people come to me and not the other way around.
I am tired of making all of the effort in certain friendships. I am constantly trying to stay connected to those that are important but after so many phone call are left unreturned because of busyness or new significant others, and plans being broken because our plan are forgotten or not exactly nailed down to the minute and I am left alone, ditched, without plans because mine were broken and while my "friends" are off doing the things that they ditched me for, do they think of me and how my feelings are hurt? Do they think that, "wow it has been a month since I have seen my friend. Maybe I should try a little harder to get to see her. Maybe I should go and visit her for a change. Maybe I could change my plans just this once since I don 't get to see her that often and she has been dealing with a lot of pain and heartache lately and she may need someone." I don't even thing that these thoughts cross the minds of those that hurt me. I really don't even think that they know.
I would also like to address a recent loss of friendship that came from nowhere. I mean how much to I have to do to show you that we are friends? Is not driving 8 1/2 hours to a party that I wasn't even invited to by you enough to show that we are friends? I am sorry that you do not see it that way and I am sorry that you feel like it should be an end to our friendship. I will not argue and fight. Instead I will laugh at funny memories and wish you luck in your life. I hope that you do find happiness in all that you do. I hope that the world treats you right and I hope that everyone that you encounter in your life makes you laugh and can see the talent and hope that you bring with you. I wish you love and luck.
I think that this year will be good for me. I am finally at a place where I can say no and let go of the hurt of the last year. While I may not forget I think that I have forgiven. I know that it will be a long year, one that is also trying on me, to figure out what my next path will be. It will be good. I think that this year also will hold a lot of laughs and good memories. I have already found new friends and ways to spend my time. I am working on keeping a positive attitude about everything, even the things that are said that hurt me. I have found love and I feel like I can do anything now with the undeniable support that is given to me everyday. Love is funny, when I didn't have it I thought I was okay, but now that I have it I would do anything to keep it and never want to live my life again without it. Cheesy, I know. I just feel like I am a new person these days. The future is not so dark. Life is good. The new year is here. I know that this year there will be a new me.
It has been an interesting last month. I have found out a lot about people whom I considered friends but really aren't. I have to wonder if it is really something that I have done or if it is their own insecurity or need to have drama in their lives that causes it all.
I wonder when I will stop trying so hard for everyone else and for once in my life let people come to me and not the other way around.
I am tired of making all of the effort in certain friendships. I am constantly trying to stay connected to those that are important but after so many phone call are left unreturned because of busyness or new significant others, and plans being broken because our plan are forgotten or not exactly nailed down to the minute and I am left alone, ditched, without plans because mine were broken and while my "friends" are off doing the things that they ditched me for, do they think of me and how my feelings are hurt? Do they think that, "wow it has been a month since I have seen my friend. Maybe I should try a little harder to get to see her. Maybe I should go and visit her for a change. Maybe I could change my plans just this once since I don 't get to see her that often and she has been dealing with a lot of pain and heartache lately and she may need someone." I don't even thing that these thoughts cross the minds of those that hurt me. I really don't even think that they know.
I would also like to address a recent loss of friendship that came from nowhere. I mean how much to I have to do to show you that we are friends? Is not driving 8 1/2 hours to a party that I wasn't even invited to by you enough to show that we are friends? I am sorry that you do not see it that way and I am sorry that you feel like it should be an end to our friendship. I will not argue and fight. Instead I will laugh at funny memories and wish you luck in your life. I hope that you do find happiness in all that you do. I hope that the world treats you right and I hope that everyone that you encounter in your life makes you laugh and can see the talent and hope that you bring with you. I wish you love and luck.
I think that this year will be good for me. I am finally at a place where I can say no and let go of the hurt of the last year. While I may not forget I think that I have forgiven. I know that it will be a long year, one that is also trying on me, to figure out what my next path will be. It will be good. I think that this year also will hold a lot of laughs and good memories. I have already found new friends and ways to spend my time. I am working on keeping a positive attitude about everything, even the things that are said that hurt me. I have found love and I feel like I can do anything now with the undeniable support that is given to me everyday. Love is funny, when I didn't have it I thought I was okay, but now that I have it I would do anything to keep it and never want to live my life again without it. Cheesy, I know. I just feel like I am a new person these days. The future is not so dark. Life is good. The new year is here. I know that this year there will be a new me.
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