Ugh, the sickness....

Okay, so I am sick. Not like I am going to die sick although at times I cough so hard it feels like I am going to die but I know that I am not that bad yet. It just sucks cause I have like a million things to do and all I want to do is lie in bed because my body aches. So I wrote a paper today that is possible the biggest piece of crap that I have ever written because I just didn't have the brain power to write in any sort of academic way. Oh, I have a phone call. I will write more later.

You scored as DI. You are a dramatic interpretation. You are drama, drama, drama! You like to set trends and be on the cutting edge of every bit of gossip! DI 83% Experimental 83% Faith Lit. 75% Poetry 75% Prose 67% Readers' Theatre 67% STE 58% Impromptu 58% Persuasion 50% POI 50% Informative 42% Duo 33% RC 33% Extemp 25% What Intercollegiate Forensics Individual Event Are You? created with QuizFarm.com

Lazy days, with so much work to do...

So this is the first weekend that I have had off in the last 6 weeks. And I meant for this weekend to be full of studious work. Thus far I have, gotten groceries, done my laundry, watched Stepmom, Runaway Bride, 5 episodes of The Modern Girls Guide to Life, countless hours of What Not to Wear and am currently watching Iron Chef America. While my scholarly endeavors are not being successful I am enjoying the relaxation. It is kinda nice not having an agenda. However, now I need one. I have a paper due on Tuesday for Gender, I am being observed in SPEE 100 so I need a flawless lesson plan, and I have part of my Theory Portfolio due on Wednesday. And Blue October is playing in Minneapolis on Monday night and I really really want to go so I need to get a move on everything.

Also, I got a job. Everyone raise your hand if you are the new karaoke DJ for Double Trouble Productions. I am! Yea, I have a show tonight so that is making my productivity go down just a little bit. Oh well. I get paid for it.

I have tons of new pictures but haven't taken the time to upload my new digital camera software yet so that sucks a little. But as soon as I do that there will me pics of me and bestfrienda from his visit here.

Okay, I think that I am going to take a shower(its been a couple of days.... ewww gross) and then get working on at least reading my article for my paper. So have a beautiful rest of the weekend everyone. Peace and Love, I miss you all.

One of those days....

Ahh... This is how my week has been... So true. I love this comic... It makes me feel normal again...

NEWS:
Got my midterm evals. Sad day. They actually weren't that bad. A tip for anyone reading this. DO NOT GIVE BACK MIDTERMS IF YOU DO NOT WANT YOUR STUDENTS TO CHALLENGE YOUR KNOWLEDGE AND COMPETENCE.... I made a mistake.
Other then that, I am looking forward to a relaxing evening of reading about social class and its effect on childrearing in black and white families, yea! I love com theory.

P.S. If you did not catch the sarcasm in that last statement, you do not know me at all. I am ashamed that you even read my blog.

I think that some of us are going to hit up Bandana for some singin'. I am in LOVE with the person that runs kareoke... I can't wait to go. I need to go and plan my outfit so I look good. tee hee. I am such a girl today.

Fun weekend...But just an OK start to the week...

So, this weekend found one NorthernPrincess and the Maverick Forensics Girls plus Coach Leah and Coach Merci in Waverly, Iowa. Yes, Iowa. Now anyone that knows this one NorthernPrincess understands her utter distaste for Iowa. There are a few perks of the state but those are ones that this NorthernPrincess cannot express on her blog, so if you are dying to know what they are, email her. Anyways, the tournament went well. Everyone had a good time. It was actually a really laid back fun girlie weekend with people that the NorthernPrincess did not know very well and was a little nervous about traveling with them. BUT all went well. Actually better then just well. The NorthernPrincess felt that she was actually connecting with people and got some REAL positive feedback on her being so it was good.

Then all was lost when said NorthernPrincess returned home from DIVA weekend and faced mounds of problems with many in her life. While too numerous to mention the issues that plagued the NorthernPrincess on Sunday continued on into Monday. Thus making the start of the week not go great. But there were some positive things that came of Monday.
They are:
1) NorthernPrincess figured out why she is having such a hard time dealing with things right now.
2)NorthernPrincess got compliments about her coaching style from someone she respects.
3)NorthernPrincess had quality time with one of the other coaches.
4)NorthernPrincess told people how she really feels about things.
5)NorthernPrincess had 1/2 appetizer at Applebees and HoneyWiess for a dollar.
6)NorthernPrincess laughed.
7)NorthernPrincess had a whole day where she did not want to call one said bestfrienda and cry.
8)NorthernPrincess has not called anyone from Nebraska praying that they will answer and tell her that they miss her.
9)NorthernPrincess engaged in real conversation with a colleague that did not result in NorthernPrincess being upset.
10)NorthernPrincess knows that it will all be okay.

So yeah, this NorthernPrincess need to read for class and then take a nap or try to get at least 6 hours of sleep. So good night to all. Peace out. I love you.

Fun things about Thursday...

Okay, so it is Thursday and the last official day of my week. I love it! Unfortunately Coach NorthernPrincess has to be in full force today with 4 hours of coaching appointments and a student making up the midterm, I will be on campus to too many hours today. It is okay though because in two days I will be together with my bestfrienda #2 catching up and telling fun stories about significant others. I am excited.

Lesson Learned. I need to read Harry Potter in order to fit in in this office. I suppose in one of my hours of free time I will start reading that.

Danielle has a scary laugh. She is laughing right now and I am scared. I don't know what to do about it except for retreat into my little world in my head and pretend that it is not happening.

I am hopefully going to St. Paul tonight for an evening out of the Katoland. HOPEFULLY... As long as coaching does not suck any will to live that I have left.

More thinking about if I won the lottery. I would hire Kristinfriend as my lawyer, Bestfrienda #2 as my PR guy and Bestfrienda as my bestfreinda. I will then create my own college called, The NorthernPrincess College of Communication, where I will hire all of my communication and speech friends to teach and coach. I will run admissions where if I think that you are pretty then you can get in. The WelshGoddess will be my connection to famous people, SnT will be in charge of foreign affairs, Brock will be our mental specialist, Brycie will be my personal assistant, Jesus will be my fashion consultant, and everyone else will hold positions as well, I just haven't thought them up yet. It will be fun.

Okay I need to go and do some sort of work. Peace and Love to all of my blog readers.

P.S. only one response about my high maintenance self. That means that consensus is that I am NOT high maintenance.... Unless someone beside char char would like to respond. Because if you all don't.... She may taunt me with her knowledge... I am not sure that makes sense in that sentence but I felt like adding it anyway.

If I won the lottery...

If I won the lottery today I would be happy. I would not have to worry about how I am funding my trip to Boston, my student loans, and in general things would be easier right now. While I know that money does not solve all problems it sure would help out. Okay so enough of that. Things are good today. I had all morning to jack around and work on homework and sleep. I love sleeping. I miss sleeping sometimes but I realize that there will come a day when it does not become such a need.

Only three days until I get to see Bestfrienda #2. I can't wait. It has almost been 4 months since I have seen him. It will be FABULOUS!

So yeah, I dont really have much to say right now, I need to get to a meeting and then coaching then getting my readings done for class tonight. Yea another busy day in the life of this northernprincess.

Oh yeah, today while I was driving in to Mankato it really felt comfortable like it was home. It was a good feeling.

Things that I should NOT have done today...

Overslept.
Contemplated stealing a bike.
Flirted with a student.
Worn pretty shoes.
Worn pretty shoes cause I knew that I would have to walk 18 blocks to my car.
Called my mom.
Called my mom because she told me how much my cell phone bill for last month was.
Figured my budget.
Had 3 Dr. Pepper's in 4 hours.
Called my student a bastard because he did not write his name on the board.
Laughed at one of the answers on my students midterms.
Laughed at a grade on one my students midterm.
Forgotten my evals.
Forgotten to print my homework at school so I didn't have to waste my ink at home.
Contemplated pushing a child off of their rollerblades to see if they would cry.
Contemplated rolling around in the leaves outside of Armstrong Hall.
Thought about pushing the ugly loud girl in the fountain.
Said, "stop it, or I will kick you in the face!" to my boss.

Thats it for now. I am sure there will be more later, it is only 7:00.

???

It has been brought to my attention that I may be high maintenance. What do my blog readers think?

Better Today.

I quick post to tell everyone that I am better today. I had some Chic-Fil-A and now the world is wonderful again. Okay not because of the Chic-Fil-A but still, it did make me happy. I know that yesterday was a sad day but those days will happen. I just need to deal with them and hopefully have a better grasp on reality then I did yesterday. People do not hate me, I am not a bad teacher, I have cute shoes, I am smart, I should be in Grad. School. I am a worthwhile human being. Okay, I have a coaches meeting in like 15 minutes, and I still need to prep what I am going to teach tonight in class, AHHH damn me for sleeping last night. I knew that I shouldn't have done it. Alright, off to try and get something done.

Alone.

I guess that maybe I am a little depressed today. I am lonely. I am constantly surrounded by people but am and lonely. No one knows me here. I am tired of hurting peoples feelings becuase I can not verbalize the struggle that I am having in my life right now. I want to be happy. I want to not feel like I am going to cry all of the time. I want to have one conversation with someone where all we do is laugh and I don't miss my friends back home. I want to not feel like everyone is leaving me. Like I am the one that always has people driving away from them. I want to curl up in my bed and cry and I don't want to do it alone. I want someone to hold me and tell me that it will be okay and not feel like I am being stupid for crying and not feel like I am being judged. I want to not here a song that reminds me of you. I want to not tell you stories everyday about how much I miss you and wanted to tell you something but couldn't because you are not here. I want the feeling of emptiness to go away for one small second and not feel like my heart has a black spot that constantly aches for you. I can't do this anymore. I don't know how. I just want to be happy and I dont know how to do that.

Yea!

So most of my pics from the weekend are up. Yea! I am excited. I love them. It is funny how in every picture I look that same and am on the same side of the person I am taking the picture with and it is even my bad side... hmmm... I don't know. Okay so, so far this week has been okay. I students were fantasic today so that was good. I have make mega progress on my paper tonight and think that I may be able to go out to kareoke(?) and finish my paper and do laundry and coach josh in the next 12 hours. It will be fabulous! Okay I need to go and get stuff done before I freak out. Only 3 days till I see my babies from Hastings! Yea!

Mommy and Daddy. Do I look hungover? I am.
What a PIMP.
Rachael Cassiday! I love you, you are so pretty and you are moving to Madison, what more could you ask for?

My only friend that I keep in touch with from middle and high school. I miss you like burning flame Brycie, I dont know how to do this without you, we've always done it together.
Brock and the Northern Princess... if we got any cuter you may not be able to look at us...
Gabriella Maria Santano Ayala gives good hand jobs....

Coach Farley and Coach NorthernPrincess.... we are fantastic.
Mamma gives good diva kisses...
"Cameron, smile for the camera, dont make faces... Ugh, Dammit NorthernPrincess why did you do that?"-Bestfrienda

"...we fit together..." but not in that dirty O-Town kind of way. I love you bestfrienda, 33 and 1/3 times....
Paige and me being divariffic at the Murphs. Paige I am so glad you are at Hastings, you are wonderful! See you soon, it was great to catch up!

Oh Gwynnie, you so pretty, oh wait, who is the hottie behind you? Oh yeah thats me... Fabulous, Fabulous, Fabulous that is all I have to say about this weekend with you. I have missed you like crazy, it was great to see you again.

Oh Diva! SnT Thanks for alwasy being fabulous and supportive. I miss you like crazy but it is nice to hear how fabulous things are going for you. My Bestfrienda and partner in crime for the weekend. Thanks for being there and loving on me. I miss your laugh.... I think that I should record it.... tee hee...
Brock... thanks for letting me pass out at your house and for driving me around. It was fabulous to see you again, also... if you ever make me cry like that again, we are finished! Ok, not really but still emotional breakdowns at Murph's are not a good thing.

Ahh.. to be back in the Northland again!

Alright, I am am home. And I made it in record time. I am excited for an evening of unwinding from the madness of this past weekend. I had some good thinking time on the way home and I feel like I am finally getting thing figured out. I am not sure what direction to go yet, but I am working on it.

To everyone back home reading this... THANK YOU. I had a beautiful time while back in the H-Town and in Shelton with Mom and Dad and Buddy Big Dog and G-Ma. I miss all of you so much and it makes my heart happy to be welcomed back with open arms. I really appreciate all of the words of encouragement, shoulders to lean on when I was falling down... And crying, and the laughter. I often forget what it feels like to really laugh, I don't do that much here but it is getting better. I know that sounds rather depressing at this point but it is not, I am just being real. Thank you again for making me feel whole again. I love you and miss you all already.

Okay so I need to finish my grading, take a shower and get to bed. I will try to post all of the fun pics yet tonight but I am not sure that I will make it. I am exhausted from the drive and all I want to do is sleep.

Oh yeah, because of the reactions that I received about the Tonic lyrics, I would just like to say... I really like that song, it was playing on my internal jukebox and I typed it out. So to counteract I leave you all with the song that made the drive away from my mommy and daddy and bestfrienda easier....

"Goodbye To You"

Of all the things I've believed in
I just want to get it over with
Tears form behind my eyes
But I do not cry
Counting the days that pass me by
I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old
It feels like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend
And I said,

[Chorus:]
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything that I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems that I can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away
To a place where I am blinded by the light
But it's not right

[Chorus]

And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time
I want what's yours and I want what's mine
I want you
But I'm not giving in this time

[Chorus x2]
And when the stars fall
I will lie awake
You're my shooting star


I love you all... Good Night.

That is NOT what I expected...

So class sucked. I think that all of my students hate me. And I would be fine with that but I had to get mad at them today for not doing their reading. I know that I should expect that from some but in a class of 27 and only one read, well I am not about to accept that. So we had required reading time and homework. I hate yelling at them. I makes me feel like I am a bad teacher. I know that I could stand to put a little more work into my lesson, but at the same time there should be give and take. They are paying for the class. I dont really get paid enough to even think of this as a paid position. I just am frustrated, and sad, and tired, and hurt, and want to go home and curl up with Jezi-Bell and cry until I fall asleep and then wake up only to realize that I am days behind in everything. I guess that means that I can no longer spend my weekends in the cities, or picking apples, or living a semi-normal college life. Ugh, I just want my mom to make me chicken noodle soup and watch sappy movies with me. Only like 26 hours until I am on my way home. I am so excited that I want to cry... or is that the frustration with everything? I am not sure but either way. I need to make the 18 block hike to my car only to then wait around somewhere grading papers waiting for my coaching appointment. Ugh, Tuesday.

Tuesday is a good day...

I just thought that I would get a quick post in before I start on my lesson for class tonight. I hope that all is well with everyone reading this today. Yesterday was the longest most exhausting day that I have had thus far and I am hoping that today is much better. I have a long day of coaching though so we will see how that goes. I know that I just need to get through today and tomorrow and then I have a long fabulous weekend back home. I can't wait, I am so excited. I do with that I would have gotten some sleep last night but I guess that I can't have everything that I want at this point in my life. I know that there is too much going on for me to even expect all of the things that it is that I want, however I will keep trying.

alright, on to my lesson. Yea! I am excited about class today. Lots of fun activities so that I don't have to lecture much. Okay peace out.