" You think she would have learned by now..."

As some of you may know, Jezi the princess cat, likes to be inside of things. Most importantly, she likes to be inside of boxes, bags, laundry hampers, laundry baskets, and inside of shelves.

Well yesterday I was doing a bunch of cleaning and laundry and miss Jez was just chillin', watching until I put the laundry basket on the bed. Seeing her new opportunity to be inside of the basket instead of on the shelf, she lept up into the basket. Unfortunately she did not investigate the sturdiness of the basket therefore she failed to notice the fact that the basket was on a bunch of pillows and not sitting squarely on the bed. Upon jumping into the basket, the basket slid off of the bed with Jezi in it and then flipped over and trapped her underneath. By this point in time I realize what is going on and watch it happen from the distance, until after being trapped Jezi let out a horrific yelp and I came to her rescue. Fortunately she was not hurt, just embarrassed so she went and hid for the rest of the afternoon.

Sadly, this is not the only issue that Jez had with the laundry basket yesterday. Once she got over her embarrassment from the first incident, she emerged and was playing in the basket again. (Now the basket is in the hallway by the washer/dryer) Char got up to go to the bathroom or something and Jez saw this as a prime opportunity for a surprise attack. When Char was walking by again, Jez lept out of the basket except the force from her leaping pushed the basket backwards. This movement scared the crap out of the cat and thus did not actually get Char but instead fell to the floor and did a somersault sort of thing. Again, embarrassed and defeated, Jezi hides for a long long time.

And in the meantime, Char and I laughed and laughed and laughed at the cats expense. This made Jezi very angry so to get back that her Momma, Jez found the only article of dark colored clothing laying around and nested into all night long leaving her precious little kitty hairs all over her nice freshly washed shirt.

And thus begins the war between mom and cat, again. And we were doing so well...

Blah.

Things that I hate about Fargo...

6) I don't understand how this town is put together. The layout makes no sense to me.
5) Even though it is relatively small compared to the cities, there is everything that I need here and more. And there is an overabundance of restaurants, therefore, we go out to eat all the time. That is bad.
4) There are alot of students here, I suppose that has something to do with it having like 5 colleges.
3) It is in North Dakota.
2) People in Fargo DO NOT KNOW HOW TO DRIVE!!! AHHHH!!! I HATE GOING OUT BECAUSE I ALMOST GET INTO ACCIDENTS ALL THE TIME.
1)I am allergic to it. Yes that is right I am allergic to Fargo. Ugh. I can't wait until my health insurance kicks in so I can do to the doc.

That is all. There is no more.

Is it fall already?

It is 65 in Fargo today. 65!! I think that it is turning fall already and I am not happy about that. It has been so weird here. Last week I wore a sweatshirt to run errands. It is August. I am not sure that I am going to like this much.

In other news, Nay finally got moved up here so it has been nice getting together with her for dinner or drinks or whatever. It is nice to add another person to the people I know here list, the list so far tops at 4. Thats right 4. Sad I know.

I am finally leaving my house and going into to the office everyday. That means that I am actually getting stuff done for my classes! Yea! I am feeling much better and hopefully this slight depression that I have been dealing with will pass soon. Although I did expect it. But it happens when you move far away and try to start a new life when you don't know anyone and the person that you do know hasn't moved in yet. Lots of boredom and loneliness doesn't really make you think so positively about yourself.

I have been watching What Not to Wear a lot. It is fantastic.

Okay I am off to get some work done, then going to coffee with one of the forensics kids.

Zippy!

Yeah, you betcha...

So I am here in Fargo. Yea! Moving was not as awful as I thought it was going to be. Although it was insanely hot and humid, there were no mishaps, nothing was broken (that I know of yet), and there were no accidents with the U-Haul. I took some pictures of the palace here, but can't find my camera cord to get them off of the camera, so those will have to come later. Jezi is taking to her new home quite well and I am slowly getting things unpack. I got the cable, Internet and phone hooked up today so it is nice now that there is some noise in the apartment. I still have to go back to St. Peter and clean up the old place and take crap to goodwill but for the most part everything is going well. I am already starting to feel at home here so that is nice. I think I may venture out to wal-mart later but we will see if I feel like it. I need to get a step ladder because I can't reach the high shelves in the kitchen for the second shelves in the closets. I am doing laundry and running the dishwasher like a mad woman, partly out of convenience and partly because I have so much stuff that didn't get washed before I left because I was broke and too lazy to do all the dishes by hand. Char moves in officially in 2 weeks YEA!! So until then it is just me and Jezi trying to figure things out. But so far so good. Okay, I need to get back to doing stuff. Hopefully pictures will be up later tonight or tomorrow.

Loves!
H

...

I just wanted everyone to know that I dislike packing very much. I feel like the more I pack the more messy everything gets. It is frustrating. I have three days to basically get this place packed. We get the moving truck on Friday, load it here, sat. morning go up to the cities to load chars stuff, then off to fargo where I will live. Char doesn't move until the middle to the end of the month. Ugh. I hate packing.

Change is good right?

Hello blog readers! I am not even sure if anyone still reads this but I thought I would post anyway.

Are you ready for some good news????

I have accepted a full-time faculty/Assistant Director of Forensics position at Concordia College in Moorhead, MN! I am very excited and am working on getting the word out to everyone. I have tons of work to do before I move, but I am moving to FARGO! (and i get a salary!)

I will be teaching 2 sections of the Basic Course (Speech 100) and 1 section of Advanced Public Speaking, along with full time coaching duties. I am nervous, and excited, and a little bit overwhelmed.

Went to look at apartments yesterday, nothing extraordinary,but we did find on that we liked. It is not the most ideal location but it isn't bad.

So that's the news!

I am back working at SMC this summer doing accounts payable. I will be moving sometime in July, early because I will be helping with Concordia's camp in the middle of July. I can't believe that this is happening!!

It is over.

It has been a long and stressful last few months since I posted. Since then I have completed my internship, internship paper (I still need to revise), been to 2 national tournaments, drove a millions hours to Georgia and back, applied and interviewed for jobs, AND GRADUATED!!
I am so happy to be done and extreamly proud of my accomplishment. My best friends were all here to help me graduation weekend, as well as my mom and dad. It was such a great day/weekend. We had LOTS of cake, drank some, and laughed a lot. I finally got to catch up with my mom and dad since I haven't seem them since Christmas. All around it was a wonderful, beautiful weekend, with lots of love, a few tears, and tons of memories. I even thought it was my birthday for a while....long story. Here are a few pics for you all to enjoy. More will come when I get them from Kristen and get my uploaded from my camera. These are from Danielle.

Me waiting to walk.
The graduating coaches with Jim and Leah. We all look so proud.

I will keep you all posted on job stuff that you know where I am headed next.
Kisses!

March Madness...

No I am not talking about basketball. I am talking about my life. Since I haven't posted in almost 2 months I should probably give a quick rundown.
-I interviewed at Augsburg. I am waiting for a yes or no. I think I did well, we just have to cross our fingers and pray.
-I have been sick for 3 weeks. Sinus and ear infections and the flu, nasty.
-I travelled with the team a lot.
-Prepped a high school tournament that was cancelled due to snow.
-Spent lots o time with the gays at the center.
-Learned about the "T"
-Had my golden birthday. It was a little tragic, thanks everyone for the shots, it was better then my 21st, except for the mass amounts of snow and having to hang out of my car window.
-Been snowed in up in the cites for 5 days.
-Taught some classes.
-Graded some papers.
-Coached some speeches.
-Applied for a few more jobs.
-Spent time with Char.
-Laughed, cried and missed my family and friends.

I think that is everything. It has been busy and i feel like I don't have time for anything. I am behind with my APP and am doing my safe space training next week. AHH! Then central states and then AFA, then APP is due, then NFA, then finals, then GRADUATION!!!! It is May 12th, if anyone wants to come, let me know I can find space for you all. the more the better. Okay I need to work. Later!

That was quick...

So I heard back from Augsburg today. I have been moved on to a written interview. YEA! I am very nervous about it and i hope that it goes okay. It does feel good to know that I made it out of the NO pile though.

I may have pierced something this weekend.... so did Sara. It was wonderful.

Internship is going well so far. I haven't spent nearly enough time there though. I am trying to get a schedule down but it isn't working.

Took the students to Iowa this weekend. It was super duper fabuouls. I loved it. It was what I needed to get started off right.

Currently doing laundry and trying to pick up my house some. It is such a mess. More cluttered than messy. But i did do my dishes and hang up some clothes and sorted though the mess of papers and mail on the kitchen table. Lots of stuff left to do though. But all of that is on hold because I am trying to prep my class for tomorrow in case I have to work. I must go.

Peace and love to all.

-H

It has started

Well, yesterday was the first day of second semester. My last semester. I woke up, drove to school and spent 5 hours in the LGBT center. Nothing exceptionally special. Although not having to go to class is wonderful, it is also difficult because I don't have anything specific I have to do in the day. I just show up and hang out. That makes it a bit difficult to get up in the morning. I hope it gets better.

I am already feeling stressed out. I think about all that I have going on this semester and I freak out and wonder how I am going to get it all done within the next few months. Yes graduation isn't until may but I have to have my internship paper and the hours completed by the middle of April. That is like 2 1/2 months from now. That freaks me out. That and I just picked up this job and the hours are also daytime so that is stressing me also. But it will all work out. I know that it will.

On another note, I was a complete dumb-ass today. I thought I had to work at LB at 11. So i got up, got dressed, ate breakfast, drove to work, walked in and my manager said, "Holly you don't have to work today, you were on call. You didn't have to come in." I felt so dumb. So I left and came home so that I can actually prepare for teaching tonight. And I can watch "Days" and that makes me happy.

Oh well. Tomorrow is another day. I really do have to work tomorrow, 9:30, ugh.

I am here... and doing well I promise.

So it has been almost 2 months since I last updated and I am very sorry to all of my readers. I went a little crazy at the end of the semester and then break and now school is starting again and I am sure that I will be absent for a while again. I will TRY to be more regular but I can promise anything.

So Thanksgiving was wonderful! It it always amazing when I get to have my besfrienda's near me. I miss them. It is a fantabulous time when we get together. We had drunk thanksgiving, and then I took them out in downtown Minni. A good time was had by all. Except Mauri cause she got really sick when she was here.

End of the semester. It came it went. I got A's. It was my last semester of coursework. I am ready for my internship to start. I got a job at Lane Bryant. I like it so far. I wonder if I am setting myself up to do too much this semester but I will try to make something work. I need the extra income.

I applied for a job for next year at Augsburg College here in the cities. It is a full-time faculty position and DOF we will see. I will be appling to other jobs (DUH) but most of the apps aren't due until Feb. so I am finishing out my break in peace for now.

Christmas was FABULOUS! All my fam together made me cry. I forget how much I miss them and how much they mean to me and then I am with them and I remember and it makes me sad to leave again. But I have a life here in Minnesota to get back to, so here I am, chilling in the cities, drinkin a margarita and doing laundry. Bored out of my mind and missing my family and friends again. There were so many people that I wanted to see but didn't get to and I feel awful. BUT I did get to spend time with DRN and I didn't think that I was going to get to but I got snowed in in Lincoln over the new year so much fun was had by us.

Well I need to go and change the laundry out so I will go now.

Peace and Love to all. Be safe, have fun and don't forget to love.

Thanksgiving!

It is almost Thanksgiving! Yea! DRN, Bestfrienda and Mauri are gonna be here tomorrow and I am so excited I could pee, or throw up since I have been sick for the last few days, but I am working on not being sick so that I am not a party pooper. Last week was awesome, only two days of class, this week is awesome only two days of class then two weeks, then finals week, and I AM DONE WITH ALL OF MY COURSEWORK!!! Almost there, almost there, almost there. Yea! Last weekend went to Madison, good times. Then LaCrosse, and then back to the cities for a couple of days of laying around being lazy, it was fabulous. I went to see the real life thinger the Macy's does, it was Mary Poppins, it was wonderful. I must take Thanksgiving crew there, they will love it. Okay back to cleaning.

I am not dead, just a little busy.

So my absence from blog land has be a long time. I am sorry. Forensics stated and I hit the ground running, without as much as a potty break. So since the 2nd weekend in September, I have been gone. I did have one weekend off in there and another that I traveled back to NE but really, that doesn't count as a weekend off. It feels like I am walking around in this surreal dream land right now. My emotions are getting the best of me and I am stuck, not knowing where to go next. Each new motel looks just like the one that I stayed in last weekend and I started getting states confused. Thanks goodness that last weekend was my last for the semester. Now hopefully I can rest, get caught up, and try to rekindle friendship that have been on the back burner for the last few months.

I received some bad news yesterday that really made me rethink what I am doing here and what my future goals are. Through my tears I tried to come to a realization that this news is not a validation of my capabilities or my ambitions, but it feels like that anyway. my disappointment turned to anger and anger again to tears making those around me wonder what was going on.To add fuel to the fire on the the entire situation, I sat in the office today looking for jobs at places like Target and Starbucks, all while uttering that I will be the only 45 year old barista with a Masters degree still living in Mankato because I can't afford to get out. Meanwhile, I know that this is not true, I am going to get out and move on, and I will find a job, but right now the self-pity is in full force and I have a feeling that it is going to stay that way for awhile. And honestly I don't really care, I think that I have a right to be upset. And to those that have anything to say negatively about my self-pity, all I have to say is "watch it cause I will kick you in the face."

Even though there is a part of my life that is making me really sad right now I have started to explore some other options. One being the possiblility of Ph.D. I don't really know if that is what I want to do straight away but I have been contemplating the thought of taking a few classes here and there so that someday I will have my Ph.D.

So my largest vice in my undergrad was rhetoric. That is not the case anymore. I am in this rhetoric of western thought class right now and I actually find it incredibly exhilarating. I get excited to discuss the material and feel that my papers for this class are the best I have written thus far in my schooling. It is crazy. I am scared by this new found love. I want to do interpersonal but find myself thinking of Fucault, Richards and Ogden, Plato, Cicero and the others that make my mind bend. I find myself seriously analyzing texts and brining in rhetoric and rhetorical thought into my daily conversations. I am not sure what this is about, a new love, something that has me incredibly excited about school, something that is seriously making me consider applying for Ph.D. programs... damn you J.D. for being such a fabulous professor and turning me onto this beautiful art.

I also have been contemplating the idea of taking the GRE and reapplying to Chicago. There is apart of me that is still in love with Psychology. I just don't know if I can leave Char and move to Chicago. I can't afford it for one thing and for two I finally feel like I have found a place to settle and start a real life. I wonder what starting all over will be like, I am nervous and scared for June when I am done here in Mankato and worried that I truly won't find what it is that I am looking for when I leave.

I guess that I will just have to wait and see, I have to suck it up and move on, pretend that I am not crushed inside, work on letting it all go and that I am good enough, and smart enough, and people DO like me.

I promise that I will try to update this more. Hopefully next time, it won't be so depressing. Love to you all.

It has started....

So the forensics season has started... and as usual I was not prepared for the new found lack of time I have for my stuff. But I am making it through. In the last month I have...

* Went on Forensics retreat... it was cold and rainy but so much FUN!
*Traveled to Kansas-long, crazy fun trip. It was awesome to see everyone again.
*Learned alot about Greco-Roman rhetoric
*Been really really sick-lots of naps, I am finally feeling better this week
*Gotten really excited that I only have 2 1/2 months of school left until semester and then it is internship and then done!

I know it doesn't seem like a lot but school is really kicking my butt this semester. Almost done though.

This weekend went up to the cities. Fun was had, did some work but didn't get it done. Have to finish a paper by 4 today only about 1/3 of the way done. not sure how it is going to work out for me cause I have a meeting at 1 and another one at 4 so really I only have about 2 hours to ge this thing flushed out. Oh well. I will press on.

Attack Part 2

Upon arriving at the Orange Lot and getting out of her car, the NorthernPrincess was greeted by a very friendly bee. Now, if you know that NorthernPrincess, you know that she doesn't like bees. They freak her out. Well, this bee flew around the NorthernPrincess's head for a while before landing on her purse strap. After this the bee thought that her head was more interesting than any of the Princess's clothing. So for about 8 minutes the NorthernPrincess looked like she was crazy because she kept swishing her hair trying to get the bee away. Finally the bee got frustrated and flew away leaving the NorthernPrincess relived.

Attack!

Today Jezi-Bell got into a fight with my foot. I knock down, drag out fight with my foot. All because my foot was in her "spot" on the couch. I have never seen her act like that, it was nuts. Now as I am sitting here at the kitchen table and she in on the floor upside down, she is eyeing the same foot and I am a little scared.

In other news: There is a funky smell in my apartment and I can't decide where it is coming from. I have taken out the trash, changed Bella box, dumped Clorox in the drain and I can still smell it, I have no idea what it is but I am walking all over my apartment like a crazy sniffing everything. Ugh. Gross.

Also: I have discovered a nice light drink that makes me happy. It is Twisted Tea, half hard Tea and half Hard Lemonade. A hard "teaid" if you will. I love it.

I got new pretties, I will post pictures later, I have to get on to making a lesson plan for class tomorrow. Yea! Audience Analysis!

My last first day of school... for a while at least

Okay so today is the start of my last year of my masters. I am excited and dreading the next year all in one emotion. I know that I am so close to being done and yet still feel like it isn't close enough either. I want to be out of here. Moving on. Working and not worrying about Financial Aid and all of the school drama. I mean I really do love school but I am so tired of it that I can't wait until I am done. I hope that this year goes really well so that I can look back and say. Man, that was awesome. We will see.

Got my travel schedule and it is AWESOME! K-State/Hastings, SDSU , Bradley and Stout. I love it. For once I actually get bigger tournaments and it will be swell.

State fair this past weekend. LOVED IT! I tried out for the Oscar Mayer sing the jingle contest and rocked the Bologna song! The video of my performance will be up in a week so I will post it on here when it is ready. Be prepared, there may be JAZZ HANDS involved. It was a blast.
Besides that wonderfulness of Oscar Mayer I eat some cheese curds and a bucket of cookies and then lost them all in a trash can by the cattle barn. I am so proud of myself. But have no fear, I rallied and all was well.

Well I need to go and finish up some stuff before the team meeting but wanted to get in an update. Will post soon.
Hope all is well for everyone else.

-Holly

Ahhh...

FORENSICS RETREAT ROCKS MY FACE OFF!!!! Okay, really it is just because I am sitting here waiting for something to do.

As for my post last night. I really do appriciate my friends. I am just getting a little frustrated lately with a few certain people.

Lots of talk for the anniversary. It is fun, exciting and a little scary.

I am working on a plan to get home to the Nebraska land sometime at the beginning of October. Right now it is still a pipe dream but working on the details to make it come true.

I am hungry. I wonder if we are getting lunch. Hmm...

Okay I should probably get going to work on nothing again. Loves it.

New year, new me.

So for me the start of another school year began today with the first coaches meeting. It went well, we laughed, discussed topics, etc. Tomorrow starts work week. Saturday is the state fair with Kittie, and then school starts on Monday. I am stressed, but not too yet, I haven't really thought much about school yet. The stress will come and then I will remind myself that I am done with my course work in December and then all I have in my internship and the paper and I am DONE with my Master's degree. I can't believe that I am halfway through a degree, I am just now figuring out how to get around Mankato and shortly I will be leaving it, ahh.... I love that thought.

It has been an interesting last month. I have found out a lot about people whom I considered friends but really aren't. I have to wonder if it is really something that I have done or if it is their own insecurity or need to have drama in their lives that causes it all.
I wonder when I will stop trying so hard for everyone else and for once in my life let people come to me and not the other way around.
I am tired of making all of the effort in certain friendships. I am constantly trying to stay connected to those that are important but after so many phone call are left unreturned because of busyness or new significant others, and plans being broken because our plan are forgotten or not exactly nailed down to the minute and I am left alone, ditched, without plans because mine were broken and while my "friends" are off doing the things that they ditched me for, do they think of me and how my feelings are hurt? Do they think that, "wow it has been a month since I have seen my friend. Maybe I should try a little harder to get to see her. Maybe I should go and visit her for a change. Maybe I could change my plans just this once since I don 't get to see her that often and she has been dealing with a lot of pain and heartache lately and she may need someone." I don't even thing that these thoughts cross the minds of those that hurt me. I really don't even think that they know.

I would also like to address a recent loss of friendship that came from nowhere. I mean how much to I have to do to show you that we are friends? Is not driving 8 1/2 hours to a party that I wasn't even invited to by you enough to show that we are friends? I am sorry that you do not see it that way and I am sorry that you feel like it should be an end to our friendship. I will not argue and fight. Instead I will laugh at funny memories and wish you luck in your life. I hope that you do find happiness in all that you do. I hope that the world treats you right and I hope that everyone that you encounter in your life makes you laugh and can see the talent and hope that you bring with you. I wish you love and luck.

I think that this year will be good for me. I am finally at a place where I can say no and let go of the hurt of the last year. While I may not forget I think that I have forgiven. I know that it will be a long year, one that is also trying on me, to figure out what my next path will be. It will be good. I think that this year also will hold a lot of laughs and good memories. I have already found new friends and ways to spend my time. I am working on keeping a positive attitude about everything, even the things that are said that hurt me. I have found love and I feel like I can do anything now with the undeniable support that is given to me everyday. Love is funny, when I didn't have it I thought I was okay, but now that I have it I would do anything to keep it and never want to live my life again without it. Cheesy, I know. I just feel like I am a new person these days. The future is not so dark. Life is good. The new year is here. I know that this year there will be a new me.

Humpft.

Nothing new to report really.
I haven't been sleeping well. Hot, tired, a lot on my mind.
In need of my friends right now. No one returns my calls, or my facebook messages. Guess I don't have any friends. Sad.
Hot.
Headache.
Job is good though.
Got the internship I wanted at the LGBT center for next year. So exicited I could pee.
Excitement was short lived. Sad again.
Trying not to be.
Not working.
Need bestfriendas.
Must go shower. Maybe feel better.
Maybe go back to bed to not sleep.
Try to do something today.
Just try.